Transparent Love

Written by Bre

The harsh poking in her thigh felt like someone was sticking a lead pipe right through her skin. Over and over again. Flexing her leg, she attempted to move away from the annoyance but rather than making it stop, she caused it to escalate to a swift slap against her knee. Her eyes snapped open.

“This house is a fucking disaster,” a deep, husky voice said. “Have you conveniently forgotten that we are having guests tonight?”

Glaring at the man hovering over her through blurry eyes, she sat up slowly as he moved backwards, away from her. She looked around their room blandly.

“They won’t be coming up here,” she responded in a monotone voice as she stretched her arms above her head, yawning. “And considering they are your guests, it only seems fair that you do the cleaning.”

“Fair?” he retaliated, crossing over to their closet, kicking a t-shirt lying on the ground into the large, dirty pile of clothing waiting to be hauled down to the laundry room. “I come home from work to find my wife sleeping after doing nothing but the night before while I slave my ass off. Yeah, that’s real fair.”

Glaring at his back as he closed their closet doors, she said, “It’s not like we actually need the extra money, Angel. You do that to yourself.”

“Well, it’s better than sitting here with you,” he said softly, his tone unreadable and Buffy felt her heart clench slightly before clamping down on the feeling. This was nothing new. He came home, complained about life for a while before settling down. It had been a good few years since he came home, smiled at her, kissed her on the mouth before helping her out with dinner. Now? It was the complete opposite and it had slowly eaten away at her before she finally shut that part of her heart down as best she could and simply faced him as a wife should when her husband complained about the life she helped give him. She imagined this was how it was for most women.

“Well, I’m sorry your life sucks so much,” she said flippantly as she stood from the bed, ignoring the anger streak in her tone as she tossed the large comforter to the over the unmade sheets.

He didn’t respond as he moved to their bathroom. She heard the shower start up as she sighed.

***

“Chicken? You made chicken? What the hell happened to the steaks?”

Buffy rolled her eyes as she entered their room, kicking off her shoes. “Dammit, Angel, what’s the problem? It was chicken! It’s not that big a deal!”

“I asked you to make steaks, Buffy. Not shitty bird food,” Angel retorted coldly as he moved to unbutton the dress shirt he had over a white tank top.

Buffy felt anger rising in her chest as she turned to look at him. Nobody had complained while they ate. The dinner had gone fabulously. Angel had gotten what he wanted from the damn people and they had left with happy smiles on their faces. Neither of them seemed to notice the forced affection and happiness Buffy and Angel had had to do. The very fact that her face hurt from smiling too much made her even madder.

“Fuck you, Angel. You have no right to talk to me that way! I am not your fucking maid, I am your wife! Why don’t you start treating me like it?” A deep strain appeared in her throat as she yelled.

Angel didn’t appear ruffled by her demand and simply turned back to her. “Well, if you would start acting like it, maybe I would! All you fucking do is lay around and do nothing! You act more like you’re sixteen than thirty-four! Stop acting like a little brat and play the role of the grown up you fucking are!”

Buffy laughed coldly as she clenched her fists. “You are such a bastard,” she said in a low voice. “I can’t believe I married you. A lot of fucking good that did for us,” she said as she turned from him, ripping her earrings from her ears and pulling her hair down from the tight bun she had had it in. “Weren’t we supposed to be happy? Wasn’t that in the fucking deal?”

Angel chuckled as he moved up behind her. “Yeah, Buffy, keep complaining about how unfair this is. Blame it on everyone else! It’s never your fault, is it?”

Buffy turned around right before he could reach her and the fury in his eyes did nothing to stop him. It was a normal sight these days. She pushed at his chest as she said, “My fault? You’re the one who comes home, bitches about life before locking yourself in that fucking study of yours! Yeah, you’re real good at taking care of things.”

“Well, if I wouldn’t have to come home to a house that looks like shit and a wife that doesn’t give a fuck about anything, maybe things would be a little better. What do you think?”

“It’s not like you’re doing your husbandly fucking duties, so don’t even talk to me about that! Why should I have to act the part of the wife if you act more like my father than anything else?”

Angel leaned forward, grabbing her chin as he spoke. “Shut the hell up. This is not my fault, Buffy!”

“The fuck it isn’t!” Buffy yelled as she ripped her chin from him. Slapping his hand away, she said, “You don’t even touch me anymore! All you want me to do is keep the house clean and make you dinner when it counts! Well, guess what, Angel? I’m a fucking human being, too, god dammit! I deserve better than this-this shitty fucking life you’ve given me!”

Angel grabbed her arm as he pulled her close to him. She clenched her jaw tightly as his fingers dug into her skin. “Don’t talk to me that way.”

“Let go of me,” Buffy said in an equally low, challenging voice, ripping her arm free. His tight grip left bright red marks trailing down her arm as she backed away from him. “Don’t talk to you that way? Why? Because you know it’s true?”

Angel stood with a stiff jaw and tense body as he watched her retreat.

“This it the life you gave me, Angel. What did you expect from me? You’re barely home anymore. Whenever you talk to me, you’re being an asshole about everything. You don’t look at me the way you used to, you don’t kiss me... you don’t even touch me anymore. Am I that unappetizing to you? You don’t want to touch your filthy wife?” Buffy asked, screaming the last part as she turned away from him, her eyes welling with tears. She didn’t want to him to see her cry, especially not when it was over him.

She didn’t even hear him coming up behind her. He roughly grabbed her arm as he spun her around. She opened her mouth to tell him to let her go when he snatched her up from the ground and tossed her diagonally onto the bed. She didn’t have a chance to speak before he was over her, shoving her dress up her body. She heard her panties rip and she acted on instinct. Slapping at his shoulders, she practically growled as he tore through his own pants.

“Get off of me!” she yelled, trying to push him away but failing. It had been years since she had been the Slayer. She didn’t have her strength anymore. She was just a regular woman with a strong husband, powerless against his strength. “Angel!”

He didn’t hear her as he suddenly pushed her legs up to her chest and thrust into her. She wasn’t ready for his intrusion and he pushed into her deeply, settling against her hips. She let out a strangled sound of pain as he moved back out to thrust into her once more.

“Angel, stop! Get off of me! Please!”

Her cries fell on deaf ears as he reached to pull her slapping hands away from him. Holding them above her head in an iron-like grip, he buried himself in her once more, angling himself ever so slightly. After years of knowing his wife’s body, he knew exactly where to hit to give her pleasure.

The next sound out of her mouth was a moan, laced with a strange mixture of pain and pleasure. She closed her eyes tightly as she turned her head away from his as he continued to thrust into her, always hitting her clit when he went back down. It didn’t take very long for her channel to become slick and hot with her juices as he forced her pleasure on her. She didn’t want it. Not now. Not like this. She would never admit it to him, but she didn’t want to be fucked. She wanted to be made love to.

His thrusts became harder and she felt her own crisis coming. Despite her better efforts, she couldn’t hep the panted moan that escaped her throat. It had been a long time since he had been buried in her and she could feel the power of her orgasm coming on her like a freight train. His loud moans and grunts echoed in her ears as she gripped him tighter with her legs, moving to meet him. Her body took on a life of its own as she clenched her eyes shut, her nails digging into his skin where he held her arms above her head.

She didn’t see it coming and she felt her body cord with her climax. Clenching him between her legs, she arched into him, a tense yell falling from her lips. She didn’t let his name pass her lips as he too came, shooting his hot seed into her body, coating her inner walls.

Neither moved for a long moment as their breaths came out, heavy and wet. She could feel his against her throat. It made her shiver as a tear slid down her cheek. This was how they reacquainted themselves with each other’s bodies. In anger and utter unhappiness. A sob tore from her and she felt him relax more against her as he released her hands.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t mean-“

“Angel,” she said in a watery voice. “Stop. Just... don’t talk,” she said between her tears. She wrapped her arms around his neck, cradling him against her as she lifted her legs higher to hold him as she cried into his hair. “Don’t move. Just stay.”

He let out a long sigh as they held each other.

Buffy didn’t cry for very long, the thoughts that had been plaguing her for the last months returning slowly. She shouldn’t be crying all over him. She needed to get herself together and let him get off of her. She slowly moved her arms away... but he didn’t.

“Shh,” Angel said softly against her skin and she bit her lip as she closed her eyes. He slowly moved off of her and Buffy expected him to get up and walk away to take a shower, not looking back. Instead he simply tucked himself back into his pants and moved onto the bed fully. Buffy sat up, wiping at her eyes, moving to get off instead of him but he grabbed her arm, gently. “Don’t go.”

Buffy felt chills rush along her spine as she looked back. He had pulled the comforter of their bed back enough for him to climb in and for her to join him. He didn’t give her a chance to respond as he slowly tugged her closer. She didn’t fight it.

Pulling her under the comforter, he let her face away from him as he covered them both and wrapped himself around her. Buffy felt more tears rush from her eyes as he clung to her. She couldn’t count the days since he had last done this. Last held her while he slept. It was almost foreign, but not as she allowed herself to relax in the most comforting place in the world for her.

She had missed it.

***

Buffy couldn’t remember buying the magazines that sat on their coffee table. The house had been tidied enough for guests to come over and be impressed, but not enough for someone who knew about all of the mess underneath it all. Sifting through them, she slowly began piling them in her arms as she gave each cover attention. One was from more than six months ago. She had forgotten to renew the subscription on at least two of them.

When she finally stood up, his hands landed on her hips from behind her. She was about to turn around but he stopped her, instead moving to wrap his arms around her, forcing her to drop the magazines she was holding back onto the table with a loud smack.

“Hi,” he whispered into her hair as he kissed her neck.

“Hi,” she responded just as gently. He slowly turned her around and Buffy looked up at him but didn’t get a chance to question his actions as he kissed her softly. Buffy still felt oddly raw from the night before. She couldn’t understand why the feeling of him holding her all night was such a touchy subject for her, but it was and she almost automatically wrapped her arms around his neck.

“Angel,” she plead as he moved her down the oversized couch, gently resting on her.

“Shh,” he responded quietly against her lips before moving down her jaw. Hovering over her ear, he whispered, “Please, Buffy. I’m trying...”

Buffy nodded, not allowing him to continue the sentence as she returned the favor, kissing his ear softly. She felt his hands gently running down her body as he held himself above her. His lips soon followed.

He was mumbling small things against her skin but she couldn’t hear what they were. But she didn’t have to. She could feel his words against her body and in her heart. Crinkling her face, she ran her hands over his shoulders as he left kisses on her clothed breasts before moving further down her stomach, slipping the hem of her shirt up to shower attention around her belly button. Her breath hitched as he reached the top of her shorts.

Tugging them down slowly with his index fingers, Angel continued kissing every inch of skin that came into view. Pausing, he pulled her shorts all the way down her legs, leaning back as she pulled her knees closer to her chest. He lightly ran his hands up her legs, his fingers dancing over the soft skin on the underside of he knee before running up the inside of her thighs.

Silently writing on her back, Buffy’s body was on fire. It had been so long since he had been down there and, out of her fierce sense of loyalty and lingering feelings of love, she hadn’t sought other male companionship. Not that anyone would have been able to make her feel this way. Only her husband could. Her lover. Her soulmate. After all this time, she was beginning to realize that again.

Buffy felt her body jerk as he gently began massaging her through her cotton underwear. “Angel,” she whispered harshly, tossing her head to the side as he leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to her clit. She could barely feel it through the last barrier between them, but it made her wetter nevertheless.

Before she could comprehend his actions, he had pulled her underwear off and was back at the vertex of her legs. He gently spread her lips and she thought she might weep as he tasted her. It was incredible, the rush of emotions that came at her. Her body was so sensitive to touch, especially his, and it only made the pleasure multiply.

He continued, sucking, biting, slipping his tongue into her tight hole. Loud moans and gasps of his name escaped her lips as he worked her towards her crisis. Buffy arched her back against the cushions as he bit into her clit and her orgasm rolled over her. A wet shout filled the air as her hands found his head. Pushing herself up against his face, she rode it out before falling limply back.

The couch dipped ever so slightly below her as he climbed back up her body. Keeping her legs spread, he rested his hips against hers, the cloth of his pants not hiding his obvious arousal. He pushed it against her and her eyes snapped open, meeting his. His face was serious, but his eyes had never been more open. For longer than she was willing to remember, he had always been shuttered, shutting her out of his head as opposed to before their marriage, when he had been completely open and compliant to her search through his soul.

She smiled gently and he returned it, his face opening up. She felt tears come to her eyes as he leaned down to kiss her.

As their tongues fought gently for dominance, she wrapped her legs around his hips, grinding herself against him. A soft moan filtered into her mouth and she rubbed harder. Breaking the kiss, she whispered against his lips, “I need you, Angel. In me.”

Angel didn’t pause as his tongue delved into her mouth once more. She felt his hand snaking between them to his zipper. Expertly, he pushed his pants and boxers down. She felt his hot flesh against hers and, pulling away, hissed as she pushed her forehead against his. He thrust into her.

The pressure of him filling her was intense and he rested a moment before pulling back out and pushing back in. Pleasure raced through her system as she lifted her legs higher, allowing him to go deeper and she cried out as he touched the mouth of her womb. Hugging him to her, she felt his breath against her shoulder as he moaned in time with her.

“Angel,” she whimpered as he angled his hips, arching her back as her hips moved to meet his. He didn’t move any harder but she felt her orgasm rising none the less. Just the feel of him deep inside her was enough as they made love to each other.

Moments passed as they gently made up for their anger the night before. Buffy felt her body trembling gently as he pushed into her a little harder. His cries filled the air and her nails dug into his scalp as his movements grew harder and faster. A sound akin to a whimper slowly turned into a loud chant of his name as he thrust into her harder, pushing her farther and farther back into the couch.

She shouted his name as her orgasm hit, her entire body tensing as she felt the ripples of pleasure quickly flood her system.

“Buffy!” he cried out, his back arching as he spilled his seed into her. She felt it coating her walls and her body jerked before he fell onto her, breathing heavily into her hair.

“Oh, god,” Buffy whispered. “I love you.”

“I love you,” he panted back, planting an open kiss on her neck.

A silent moment passed and neither moved.

“I’ve missed you,” Angel said softly against her ear and Buffy felt a shiver attack her spine as his breath danced across her skin.

“I’ve missed you, too,” Buffy said, tears coming to her eyes. “I’m sorry-“

“Shh,” Angel said, pulling back to look into her eyes. He gently wiped her cheek as a tear came down. “No apologies. There’s too many.”

She gave him a watery smile as he gently pulled himself off of her. Not bothering to fix himself, he held his hand out to her.

“Hungry?”

The End

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