Part One ~ Part Two ~ Part Three ~ Part Four ~ Part Five ~ Part Six ~ Part Seven ~ Part Eight ~ Part Nine ~ Part Ten
Some People Need Saving
Written by Bre
Buffy Summers walked into the small living room, finding her mom asleep on the couch, a half-filled bottle of whiskey next to her, her ashen face making her appear dead. But by the rising of her chest, it would be another day when her mother died. Her father was still asleep in the bed her parents shared and Buffy did not want to wake him up just to tell him that she was leaving out of fear that he would hit her again. Buffy shuddered. Grabbing her back pack, she hurried out of the house, closing the door behind her quietly, not bothering to lock it.
Buffy tip-toed out of the yard to her small house, walking as fast as she could without running to her school, Sunnydale High. She was wearing a pair of worn jeans, baggy for her thin form, and a black t-shirt with sneakers. Her hair was pulled back and she wore no make up. This was how she dressed everyday, clothes that looked liked she lived nowhere and a somber face that begged for pity. There was a fading bruise underneath her left eye, barely visible only to those who looked for it. Her frail figure was too skinny, but she did eat, just not at home. She was lucky enough to have some money and she knew it, envying people at her school like Cordelia Chase and Harmony Kendall, who always mocked her and thought she was a disease. They were so beautiful and rich, it made Buffy want to cry at the sadness of her life. A tear silently slid down her cheek and Buffy let it slide down her neck, into the hollowness of her collarbone. What was the point in wiping it away?
Buffy stared at the rocky, cracked ground that she walked on, wondering why she couldn’t change. She kicked a rock that was in her way, thinking about how she had gotten in trouble a couple of weeks ago. She had a reputation around the school of being rough. She had gotten into a fight with a group of loners because they were making fun of her. It wasn’t her fault she couldn’t keep her mouth shut. The apparent leader of the group had started it, the girl mouthing off at her. Buffy had gotten pissed and punched her, starting a fight in the middle of the school hall. Buffy had won, but had walked away with a bloody nose and a fat lip. That was fine because she had knocked the other girl out and had given her a nice big old bruised eye and a nice gash on her chin. After that, she had gone to the principal’s office, Snyder almost expelling her because it was her third fight that year. Buffy had shrugged, accepting the punishment. She had to stay after school for the next week, cleaning the school with the janitor. Buffy didn’t care, it happened all the time. When she had gotten home, she had found out that the principal had called her dad and he had gone ballistic. He had hit Buffy in the eye, giving her the black eye and mighty blow to her cheek. A red hand print had been left on her cheek and Buffy had spent the night in the yard, hating her father and hating her mother because all she did was sit there and watch, saying it was for her own good. When she had gone to school the next day, the only explanation she had was the fight the other day. The only people who knew the truth were her friends and the principal, but of course he would never do anything.
Buffy looked up as she got closer to the school, saw all the people milling around the grass and sidewalks in front of the entrance. All the well dressed people and all the bad dressed people, which was where she thought she belonged. Buffy’s eyes scanned the areas around the people, looking for her friends. Instead, she found herself staring at a boy who was surrounded by a group of the popular people. She watched him as she slowly got closer to the school, wishing he would notice her, like she noticed him. But of course he wouldn’t notice her, he was going out with Cordelia, and that was enough to tell Buffy to back off. He was tall, had dark brown hair and to her, the most beautiful brown eyes she had ever seen. He always dressed well, compared to her clothes, and was known to be a jerk. But, she could see the sweetness, the gentle man he hid from everyone in his eyes. Buffy sighed. She knew it would be a cold day in hell when he first noticed her. Tearing her eyes away from her love interest, she looked to her right and saw Willow and Xander sitting under a tree on a stone bench. Buffy changed her direction, walking toward them.
Willow Rosenberg looked up and saw her friend walking towards her and Xander. Willow waved her hand excitedly and waited for her approach. Buffy solemnly waved back, smiling slightly, feeling one whole hell of a lot luckier than most people to have them as friends. Xander Harris stood, his bag hanging off one of his shoulders. He was wearing black cargo pants and a white shirt with a red star on it. Willow had her bright red hair pulled back and was wearing a purple skirt with a colorful shirt. She had on pink pantyhose and black clogs. A smile was on both of their faces.
“Hey, it’s the Buffster,” Xander said with a goofy grin on his face, mock punching her when she was close enough. Buffy smiled up at him shyly. Willow stood as well now, facing Buffy.
“Hey, Buffy, what’s up?” Willow asked happily, staring at her friends sad appearance. It was Willow’s belief that it was her job to make her friends happy, or as happy as she could get in her situation.
Buffy smiled. “Not much.”
Willow smiled. Xander threw his arm around both of their shoulders, Willow fought to wrap her arms around his torso while Buffy had her hands stuffed in her baggy jeans. The bell rang.
“I guess that’s our cue,” Buffy said, moving forward with Xander and Willow along with her. As they walked into the school entrance, none of them noticed the group of ‘popular’ people walk behind them.
***
“Hi, Angel,” Cordelia Chase chirped once she saw her boyfriend surrounded by all of their friends. Angel Roarke turned around at the sound of his girlfriend’s voice. He smiled and brought her to him, kissing her. “Hey, Cordy.”
Cordelia smiled, leaning into the crook of his arm. She looked around, noticing Buffy standing on the outskirts of the students with her loser friends. She noticed what she was wearing. “My, God, does that girl have no fashion sense?”
Angel looked down at her. “What? Who are you talking about?”
Cordelia sighed, rolling her eyes. “That thing that passes for a girl. I swear, she has, like, no fashion sense. Look at what she’s wearing!”
Angel laughed. “Why waste your time on her? She’s not worth it.”
Cordelia smiled brightly. “You’re right. I mean, she’s like a bad dog or something. She just needs to be put to sleep. Like, remember the fight she had gotten into with that one girl, what was her name... Jennifer?”
Angel chuckled, hearing the bell ring. He grabbed his girlfriend’s waist and began walking towards the entrance. She obligingly followed. “Yeah, I remember. They were really going at it. I was surprised Buffy had won at all. I mean, damn, look at Jennifer, all butch and shit. But Buffy kicked her ass. She has some mighty fine fighting skills. I wonder if her Dad teaches her.”
Cordelia laughed as they walked into the school, looking at the blonde girl’s head from their point of view. “She probably gets it from him when he hits her.”
Angel frowned slightly. “That sucks.”
“Don’t pity her, I’m sure she deserves it.”
Angel looked down at Cordelia, then shrugged, sparing a glance at the group as they passed them.
***
Buffy looked up as she saw Cordy and Angel pass. They were holding each other, surely to get in trouble with Snyder. Buffy turned to her locker, turning the dial that would open it. Willow was standing next to her, watching her. She saw the wistful look that passed her friend’s face. Xander had gone ahead to his locker already, leaving the girls to fend for themselves as students around them readied for class.
“Don’t bother with him, Buffy. He’s not worth it. You know how big of a jerk he is... how’s your eye?”
Buffy looked at Willow, sighing. “It’s fine. Healing. You know my dad. He got really pissed off about that fight and he took it out on me.” Buffy snorted. “The things I put up with.”
Someone from behind her snorted as well. “Already in more trouble, Summers?”
Buffy turned to see Jennifer Mara staring at her. Buffy rolled her eyes, turning back around. She caught a glance at Willow and saw a scared look on her face. Buffy smiled reassuringly. Xander suddenly appeared, ready to walk with them to home room. He stood next to his blonde friend, staring at Jennifer coldly.
“You want another round, there, Mara?” Buffy mocked, rummaging around in her locker. She grabbed her back pack, dropping it to the ground and slammed her locker closed.
Jennifer smiled cruelly. “You up to it? I hear that you get enough at home... think you could take it?”
Buffy turned quickly, advancing on the large girl, the subject a sore one. Jennifer instantly backed off, but the cruel look didn’t leave her face. A small crowd had grown around them, including Angel and Cordy with their group. Buffy lifted her fist, only hearing the shouts of the students of “FIGHT!”
But before she could hit the girl, a strong hand grabbed hers and held her back. Buffy threw her head around to see who was holding her back. It was Xander, and he had a warning look in his eyes. Her eyes switched to Willow, who looked extremely frightened. Buffy breathed out, relaxing her hand, and relaxing. Groans of disagreement came from the crowd and they tried to urge her on. It obviously worked for Jennifer because when Buffy turned around once again, Jennifer attacked, pushing her violently into her locker. Buffy hit her head hard, and she stumbled. Regaining her composure, she looked at Jennifer with fire in her eyes. Buffy once again advanced but this time Xander was more forth going. He grabbed her waist and picked her up off the ground, pushing through the crowd with a struggling and cursing Buffy in his arms. But Xander was stronger. Willow followed them.
Xander continued to carry her through the hall until they reached their home room, ignoring the stares and catcalls of students as they passed. He set her down and Willow gripped hers and Buffy’s bag in her hands at the murderous look in her eyes. “Dammit, Xander! Why did you go and do that?!”
Xander winced at her words. “Buffy! Do you really want to get in more trouble than you are? Jesus, I just saved your ass!”
Buffy calmed down, breathing deeply. She looked down in the direction where they had just come. The crowd had gotten smaller and she saw Angel and Cordy coming towards them. Buffy turned away from them, lifting her hand to her forehead where she touched blood, hissing in pain when her dirty fingers touched the open wound. “Damn.”
Willow looked at her. “C’mon, Buffy. You need to go to the nurse’s office. You look pretty bad.”
Buffy glowered, glaring at Xander. “So would that bitch if Xander hadn’t dragged me off.”
Xander glared back at her. “You’re lucky I-”
“I know, Xander,” Buffy interrupted, holding her hand up to stop him. “And... thank you.” Buffy smiled up at him.
He was about to answer when Cordelia passed them. “That’s a nice look for you, Buffy. Goes with the whole ‘I’m-a-slut’ picture.”
Buffy almost growled, fighting the urge to cry at the disgusted look she got from the object of her affections. “Fuck off, princess.”
Cordelia looked surprised and Angel smirked. Xander grimaced and said in a low voice, “Down girl.”
Buffy sighed, turning to Willow and grabbing her bag. “Thanks, Will, for getting my bag.”
Willow gave Buffy a shaky smile. “No problem.”
Buffy turned from the room and began walking to the nurse’s office, getting weird looks from all of the students who walked by her.
She ignored them.
Buffy entered the nurse’s office, looking around for the woman who was to help her clean her cut. The nurse, Ms Hatchkins, was sitting at her desk in the corner, filling out a notebook. She was a large, middle aged woman who was the kindest to Buffy in the whole school, except for her friends and the librarian, Giles, and actually ignored the trouble she always got into. Buffy sighed, sitting down in the chair next to her desk, smiling at the lady when she looked up. “Buffy,” Ms Hatchkins said, frowning, “what happened to your head?”
Buffy touched the large cut with her fingers timidly. “Jennifer pushed me into my locker.”
Ms Hatchkins stood and reaching for gauze and some liquid in a bottle. She motioned for Buffy to stand, which she did, and lead her to the sink on the opposite side of the small room. “Did you two get into a fight again?”
“No, Xander took me away from her before it got out of hand.”
“Xander? You mean, Harris?”
“Yeah. He grabbed me and carried me struggling all the way to home room.” Buffy was grinning.
Ms Hatchkins chuckled. “That I can imagine.”
Buffy smiled at her, hissing as she cleaned the cut. Once she was done, she taped it up with some gauze and washed her hands. She looked worried. “Buffy, there’s something I’ve noticed about you for the last couple of years that I’d like to ask you about.”
Buffy saw the troubled look on her face and had a feeling she knew what is was about. “Shoot,” she said in a shaky, unsure tone.
“I’ve noticed that you have repeatedly come to the school with a bruised eye, a cut, a red mark on your cheek, etc. I talked to Principal Snyder and he says I shouldn’t worry about it, but I do.”
Buffy closed her eyes, sighing before opening them and eyeing her. “Look, Ms Hatchkins, it really isn’t anything you need to worry about.”
Ms Hatchkins shook her head, once again motioning to Buffy to sit down. Buffy did, while the nurse sat at her desk. “Do your parents abuse you, Buffy?”
Buffy forced a laugh, which turned into a sob. A tear slipped from her eye. “Look, I’d get into a lot of trouble if my dad found out that you were asking stuff like that.”
Ms Hatchkins frowned. “Buffy, I-”
Buffy looked down at her wrist lamely, pretending to look at a watch, which she lacked. “Oh, look at the time. I really have to get going. I don’t want to get into anymore trouble.” Buffy smiled. “Thanks for bandaging this up.” Buffy pointed to her bandaged cut, a little blood already showing through the white gauze. Ms Hatchkins smiled worriedly, nodding, watching as Buffy left her office.
***
Buffy sat slumped in her chair in her English class, her head resting on her pointer and middle fingers as she listened to the teacher talk about a project that she would be assigning the class. Willow sat next to her, taking notes eagerly about the requirements. Buffy sighed, thinking about how Willow could be so happy to sit in class and not get bored. Xander was sitting on her other side, asleep. It looked like he was about to fall out of his seat by the way he was slowly slipping. Angel Roarke sat behind her, diagonal from her seat, behind Willow. He was talking to his friend, William Richardson, nicknamed Spike because of his strange fascination with railroad spikes, who was sitting behind her. They were talking about something, but Buffy couldn’t hear because they were so quiet. Buffy took the pen on her desk, opening the notebook that sat on top of all her books. She found a blank page and began to doodle as best she could with her left hand.
“Okay, now that I have talked you all into boredom, Xander being the best example...” Xander’s eyes popped open and his elbow slipped, making him stumble, almost fall out of his chair. The class laughed and Buffy chuckled, Willow looking at him with a scolding look. The teacher continued, “...it is time that I give you all your research buddies,” the teacher, Ms Murray, said, picking up a list that sat on her desk. “Now, I had the computer already choose the people you will be working with.”
She looked down the list. “Okay, here we go... Willow Rosenberg and Xander Harris, William Richardson and Harmony Kendall...” Spike scoffed, turning around to look at the blonde who was sitting across the room next to Cordelia. A few chuckles rose from the class. “...Cordelia Chase and...” Cordelia was sitting in the back, her eyes closed and fingers crossed, silently wishing she was with her boyfriend. “...Jonathan Levenson.” Buffy smiled while Cordelia groaned. “Angel Roarke and Buffy Summers.” Buffy rolled her eyes, pretending to show her annoyance, but inside she was actually happy, ecstatic even. For two years she had had an eye on Angel Roarke. He was everything she dreamed of. Or so she thought. Even though he was a major dickwad, she imagined he could be nice, if he tried. “Percy West and...”
Once the teacher had finished a couple of moments later, the entire class paired off, she sat down the list and looked back at her students. “Okay, I have saved the last five minutes to give you all a chance to get together with your partner. This project is due in a month. As you know, I want your presentation to be ten minutes long, no shorter nor longer, and I will allow you to choose who you want to do the project on. You’d be surprised how quickly those few minutes will actually go. Here is a page of your choices...”
As Ms Murray passed out the papers, Buffy turned in her desk towards Angel, leaning her elbows on her knees. She missed the sympathetic look Willow sent her way as she passed to sit with Xander, who was now wide awake. Angel was turned around and talking to Cordelia as she completely ignored Jonathan, who was talking in a low, pathetic voice. It was way too easy to feel bad about the kid. Buffy cleared her throat loudly, capturing the attention of some of the other students. Angel turned his head around so he could see her. He just looked at her. Buffy rolled her eyes.
“Well, what are we going to do for the project?”
Angel shrugged. “I don’t care, you choose.”
He turned back around. Buffy shook her head, chuckling. This was going to be fun, she thought sarcastically. She leaned forward and tapped his shoulder impatiently. He sighed dramatically and turned around in his seat fully, glaring at her. “What?”
“You don’t think I’m going to do this whole project on my own, do you?” Buffy asked, her eyes narrowing.
Angel rolled his eyes, picking up the paper in front of him. Cordelia was standing behind him in a huff, glaring at Buffy and listening to Jonathan as he hesitantly talked to her. Buffy flashed her a mocking smile.
“Well, who do you want to do?” Angel asked, waving at the paper.
Buffy picked the paper up, looking it over. “I don’t know... Emily Dickinson?”
Angel nodded. “That’s fine.”
“Alright. Do you-” Buffy was cut off by Angel turning around, once again capturing the attention of his girlfriend. Cordelia happily continued ignoring Jonathan. He started pouting.
Buffy sighed in aggravation. “Hello?” she called.
Angel turned again. “Yes?” he asked impatiently.
“Look, we’re gonna have to do this some time or another. Why don’t we get it started and over with. Okay? Do you want to go to the library?”
Angel shrugged, shaking his head casually. “Fine, I don’t care,” he said, clearly annoyed.
Buffy attempted to smile. “Alright. I guess we’ll meet there after school?”
“Yeah, that’s cool,” he replied, defeated, his tone wishing to be somewhere else other than there with her.
Buffy felt her heart ache at the sound and glared at him, hurt that he wanted to get rid of her so quickly. “Alright,” she said, harshly.
“Great, yeah, see ya then.” He had completely missed her harshness, yet managed to answer her with his own.
Buffy sighed in aggravation, turning back around.
Angel turned back around as well, rolling his eyes. What had he just done? He was going to be spending the whole afternoon with that bitch who dresses like a yeti. God, what did I get myself into? Cordelia was now officially ignoring Jonathan and every attempt he made to talk to her. As he looked at her beautifully sculptured face, he knew he would be out of that library in less than half an hour. Cordelia looked at her boyfriend. “So, who did you two choose?”
“Emily Dickinson,” he said, not caring one damn bit.
“Oh, are you going to do all the work since she can’t seem to do any herself?” Cordelia asked hotly.
“Actually, she wanted to get started right away. I’m supposed to meet her after school at the library so we can research.”
Cordelia gaped at him. “Are you serious? You actually agreed? Why?”
Angel could only laugh. “To get it over with. Trust me, the less time I spend with her, the better.”
Cordelia scoffed. “Yeah, right. Anyway, what time will you come and pick me up?”
“Around seven or so. I’ll be out of that library as fast as I can, so I might come earlier just for some... personal time...”
Cordelia smiled brightly and leaned in to kiss him. He pulled back after a minute. “Who are you and that loser researching?”
She scrunched her nose, not caring. “I have no idea.”
“C’mon, Cordy. Don’t make me wait up for you just because you’re with Jonathan.”
“I’ll ask him,” Cordelia assured him, leaning forward. “Now, kiss me, again. I need to get my mind off this nightmare.”
Angel obliged, pressing his lips to Cordelia’s.
“Hey!” the teacher shouted to them, “what have I told you two about doing that?”
They both glared at her.
The bell rang, signaling the end of class.
Buffy left with a heavier heart than before, having heard everything the two had said.
***
“So, you and Angel?...” Willow started, trying to look and sound thoughtful, but failing. “I’m so sorry you had to be paired with him,” she ended in a rush.
Buffy forced a laugh, putting a mask over her pain. “It’s fine, Wills. I’m sure he’s not so bad. We’re going to research at the library after school.”
Xander stopped, stopping them as well. “What? He actually agreed? He has something a kin to brains?”
Buffy nodded, amused. “Why so harsh, Xander?”
“Nothing.” Xander shook his head. “It’s just...I’m sure it’s only going to be you who is doing the work, of course.”
“Xander, look who you’re talking to, I’m the bad ass of the school, she said with false bravado. “I could easily kick him in the balls or something if he piled all this crap on me.”
“Are you sure he won’t try anything?” Xander asked, worried for his friend’s welfare.
“Oh, please. I mean, look at me...” She waved to herself. “... I’m ugly. I highly doubt anything will happen. And, again, I can easily kick his ass.”
“Buffy,” Willow scolded, “you’re not ugly. You just choose to... dress different.”
Buffy chuckled. “Thanks for trying, Willow, but I am.”
Xander wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “Don’t be so negative.”
“Hey, you started this,” Buffy accused, slapping his arm playfully.
“I did?”
Buffy shook her head, laughing. “Whatever, Xander. Whatever.”
“What?” he asked, following the two girls as they walked down the hall, spreading his arms out in question. “What did I say?”
***
Buffy walked into the library warily. She had just gotten in trouble with her last two teachers in front of all her classmates. It was horrible. It wasn’t her fault she didn’t do her homework. Maybe if her parents were a little more supportive... Don’t wanna go there, Buffy scolded herself, reminding herself, as she did daily, that it was a sore subject. Buffy felt a heavy tiredness course through her body and it was all she could do to not collapse to the floor from exhaustion. The last couple of weeks hadn’t been easy. She barely slept and now that the pressure of school was getting stronger, she needed to be at her best, or so she thought. Which she wasn’t.
Looking up, she was hoping to see Angel sitting there, ready to get the project over with. But, as she suspected, he wasn’t. He was probably off with Cordelia, making out and doing God knows what. Buffy shook her head, knowing she hated thinking about Angel with somebody who wasn’t her. Even though it had been that way for a long time. It still hurt and her crush was still just as strong as it had been in the beginning.
But what she did see was the librarian, sitting at the check out counter, looking over a book and grabbing a stamp, stamping the inside of the book cover with the inky mess to state that it had been returned. There were few books that ever got checked out and she guessed it was his only pleasure in his life.
Walking to the counter, she stopped and smiled at him, feeling a fatherly love towards the older man. Rupert Giles had come to Sunnydale from London to replace the old librarian when she first came to this school as a sophmore from L.A. where her father hadn’t exactly been the prick he was now. And back then, she had even had friends and had been popular. Though she missed it, she knew she loved her friends that she had now more than anything in the world. Except for Angel... Buffy mentally slapped herself, wondering where that thought had come from. Giles had been the only one who had accepted her, like Ms Hatchkins.
“Hey, Giles,” she said happily, grinning when he looked up, smiling as well. He closed the book and placed it on a rack behind him before turning back to her. He noticed the cut on her forehead and frowned.
“What happened to your forehead, Buffy?” he asked, seeing the gauze had already gotten blood soaked. She tried to look up at her forehead, making her head hurt from the way her eyes were placed. He fought back a chuckle. Buffy shrugged carelessly, noticing the bloody piece of gauze.
“Jennifer pushed me into my locker this morning. Luckily, before I kicked her ass, Xander stepped in and stopped it.” Buffy shrugged. “Looks pretty bad, huh?”
Giles nodded. “Actually, it looks like you could use some more gauze. Hold on one moment while I find some and we’ll replace it.” He continued on, turning to his office where he kept his first aid kit. “What are doing here, Buffy? Research?”
Buffy nodded, even though he couldn’t see her. “Yeah,” she yelled back, “Doing something for English. Actually, have you seen a guy come in? Tall, dark, and handsome type?” Buffy winced at her choice of words.
Giles poked his head out, some books in his hand, still looking for the first aid kit. “No, I’m sorry, Buffy, no one has been in here since yesterday when Willow came to help me with the computer. Is he your research partner?”
Buffy once again nodded as he disappeared. “Yeah, we have to research Emily Dickinson. Now that I think about it, do you have any books on her?”
Giles re-appeared with a white box in his hand that had a large red plus sign on it. He nodded. “Why, yes. I have an extensive collection regarding Ms Dickinson.”
Buffy beamed. “Cool, Giles. You’re the bestest.” He gave her a pointed look. She rolled her eyes as she watched him open the box and pull out some supplies.
“So, who is this partner?” Giles asked, walking around the counter and motioning for her to sit down at the large, round conference table that sat in the middle of the library. Buffy obliged and watched as he pulled out some sterilization stuff. She winced as he pulled the gauze off her forehead and hissed when he applied the stinging liquid to it. To take her mind off things, she thought about the semi-pleasant question he had asked.
“His name’s Angel Roarke. We’re in the same English class, hence the same project. The teacher paired us up.” Buffy bit her lip as he cleaned the dried blood off her forehead.
Giles looked down at her, placing the bloodied cotton ball on the table and grabbing a bandage. He peeled the wrapper back. “You sound somewhat fond of him, yes?”
Buffy blushed a bit and looked down. “I don’t know... He’s a little out of my league if you know what I mean.”
Giles smiled kindly. “Don’t think that way, Buffy. Everybody’s in your league... or however you American’s speak.”
Buffy smiled shyly. “Thanks, Giles. That was sweet.”
He bent forward and placed the bandage on her still healing cut. Once he was finished, they both turned to the library doors, startled, as Angel walked in, strutting in like he owned everything and everyone. Buffy grinned inside but glared on the outside. She looked at the clock, standing up. “Do you know what time it is? I’ve been here for 45 minutes.” A little white lie never hurt anyone, she thought. Anyway, he deserves it.
“So sue me,” Angel replied, watching curiously as the librarian walked away from Buffy, a first aid kit in his hand. Then he noticed the bandage on her head. From Jennifer probably, he assumed and approached her, seeing her anger in her eyes and something else... Angel squinted and was surprised when she turned away abruptly. She looked down at the table, picking up her back pack and reaching in, grabbing a ratty notebook, full of drawings and notes to her friends. She fetched a pen and turned to the librarian, who was up in the stacks, grabbing some books. “Need help, Giles?”
Angel was once again taken aback by her closeness to the librarian. What a freak, spending so much time in a creepy place like this. Giles looked down at her and shook his head. “No thank you, Buffy. I’ve got it. Why don’t you and Mr Roarke get ready and I’ll bring down some books that might be helpful for you’re research.”
Angel lifted his eyebrows and assumed she had told him about everything. She did seem awfully close to him. Giles walked down the steps with a stack of large books in his hands. Setting them on the table carefully, he pointedly talked to the small blonde. “Please be careful with these. They appear to be falling apart from the none using going on in this school.” Angel couldn’t blame anyone. “These should help you and if you need anything else, I’ll be in my office.”
Nodding curtly to Angel, he disappeared into his office. Angel turned to look at Buffy who was searching through the pile. She looked up when she felt his gaze. “What?”
“Seem awful close,” he commented. She stared at him, lifting her eyebrow.
“And you care because...?”
Angel shrugged. “I just think it’s weird, that’s all.”
“I’m sure everything about me is weird to you, right? I mean, it’s obvious you would do anything to be anywhere but here. But guess what, you’re stuck here, and it’s better to get this over with, alright? It’s not like I actually enjoy this, either.”
Angel looked at her strangely. She sighed in defeat. “Just grab a book, take some notes then get out of here. If you want to help, don’t talk. ‘Cause everything you say to me is rude or cruel.”
Angel raised his eyebrows and spoke defensively. “That’s not true.”
“Yes it is... especially for that bitchy girlfriend of yours,” Buffy replied angrily before plopping down in on of the seats and opening a book, reading. He glared at her, keeping his mouth shut. He could see the conflicting emotions within her and wondered at her black eye. He couldn’t resist. “What happened to your eye?”
Buffy sighed dramatically and felt tears rise in the back of her throat. He just doesn’t know when to fucking stop! Especially when it concerns her worse fears and subjects. She glared up at him. “None of your business,” she said in a rough voice before looking down and staring at the words before her blearily.
Angel shrugged, ignoring his guilt for apparently making her cry, and opened one of the books, hurriedly taking notes, not caring whether they made a difference or not.
He just wanted to get out of there.
***
Buffy walked up the walk to her house from her stroll from the library. Their meeting had gone horribly. She got barely any work done thanks to his big mouth. She hated him. Yet, it really sucked that she couldn’t stop thinking about him. After only forty minutes, he had gone to the pick up Cordelia, saying he would work some more at home. That was a load of shit. Like hell he would even try to do anything academic. Maybe Xander was right. Maybe she was going to get stuck with the whole project. That would royally suck and she knew she would fail. She needed help, not a sarcastic reply to her every word. It was already dark out and there was very little light on in her house. Buffy heard the TV blaring and a voice shouting. Oh, God, Buffy thought, looking frightened. Please no.
Buffy walked into the living room cautiously, looking fearfully at her parents. Her mom was sitting in an almost broken chair, looking up at her dad, a bottle of hard liquor in her hands. Her dad was standing above her, his hand raised. Buffy shuddered. They both looked up at the sound of her entering. Fire flashed in her dad’s eyes.
“Where have you been?” he asked, advancing on her in the room where the TV was casting a large glow on everything. Buffy tried to stand her ground, but failed backing up into the yellowed wall behind her. She looked up at him, frightened. He was a lot taller than her, had a lot more muscle and an anger that couldn’t be simmered.
“I-I was with a-a friend at the library...w-we were working on a research project.”
Hank Summers glared at her. “Right... Are you sure you weren’t at some boy’s house getting fucked, you little whore?”
Buffy winced at his words. “I’m telling the truth,” she said weakly, hating how he blamed her for horrible things.
Hank grabbed his daughter’s arm in a bruising grip, pulling her to him. “Don’t back mouth me, young lady.”
Buffy felt something warm and wet trickle down her cheek. That only made him madder. He brought up his other hand and wiped it roughly across her cheek. Buffy bit her lip to stop from crying out. “After all of this shit you put us through, you really think you have the right to cry?”
Buffy shook her head weakly, not responding. Her father slapped her across her right cheek, making Buffy’s head flip to the side. He pulled her to him again. “Answer me when I talk to you!”
Buffy closed her eyes. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, fully crying now.
Hank shook his head in disappointment. “Yeah, you’re sorry... I knew you were a mistake the minute I saw you.” He threw her into the wall she had just been backed up into, hitting her head roughly. She cried out and slumped to the floor. Placing her hand on the back of her neck, she curled up into a little ball. All the while her mom had just watched. She didn’t get up while Hank walked past her, telling her to come into the bedroom. Joyce Summers nodded, standing, about to follow him before she turned around. She spoke, her words slurred and defensive.
“You know it’s for you’re own good that this is happening, Buffy. You should accept it and realize you get treated very good compared to others. Accept it gracefully.” Joyce turned and followed her husband into the room. Buffy stayed right there on the floor, her mother’s screams of more pain than pleasure echoing through the small house.
Buffy cried for the rest of the night.
***
“I did some work.”
Buffy shut her eyes at the deep voice coming from behind her and turned around. “That’s just fucking great for you,” she snapped before she could stop herself and turned back around. She could literally hear his surprise.
“What the hell is you problem?” Angel demanded, clenching the paper in his hand. He did something and all she does is fuck him over with her attitude.
Buffy paused her search through her locker. With one arm resting on the floor of her locker, she turned around and looked up at him. “What did you do?”
Angel stared at her. “You know what? I don’t what your problem is, but you should probably get the fuck over it. You think you’re something special?”
Buffy narrowed her eyes. She didn’t speak for a moment. “Give me the paper.”
It was then that Angel noticed the bright red mark on her cheek. His face softened. “What-“
“What does ‘it’s none of your business’ mean to you?” Buffy asked angrily, suddenly advancing on him in the empty hallway. He backed away with each of her small paces. “The fact that shit happens doesn’t mean anything to you, does it? As long as you’re okay... as long as you’re fucking perfect life is okay, then everything’s fucking dandy with the world. Well, guess what? It’s not! Now mind your own god damn business and give me that stupid paper and go off and fuck your girlfriend!” She held her hand out to him.
Angel was stunned into silence. Buffy panted slightly before him, her fist clenched at her sides. Releasing her hand, she dropped the other as she turned around and stalked to her locker. Slamming the door shut, she turned to glare at him. “If you lived in my world for more than two seconds, you would be fucking dead.”
Angel furrowed his brows. “Whatever the hell it is that’s got your fucking panties in a twist, drop it. You’re nothing special, Buffy.”
Buffy swallowed as he said her name. She was nothing special to him. She was just another girl who happened to dress like shit and come to school with bruises all over her body. She was nothing special. “Who the fuck...” She laughed suddenly, a bitter, cold laugh. “Yeah, okay, I’ll just go jump off a cliff because that’s the only thing that’ll help me anymore.”
Angel shook his head. “What the hell ever. I don’t need to listen to your pathetic problems, okay? Let’s just get this fucking lame- ass project over with because the farther away from me you are, the happier I’ll be.”
Buffy pursed her lips. Angel threw the paper he had clenched so tightly at her face. She looked down at it’s fluttering form as he stormed off down the echoing hallway.
“Yeah...” Buffy sighed, self-loathing evident in her small voice. “I’m sure.”
***
Buffy really did feel like taking a nosedive off a cliff in that moment. It had been two days since her and Angel’s little fight and they hadn’t come close to the other since. She glared at him while he ignored her completely. And to top if off, she felt guilty for her little outbursts. She felt guilty for saying those things to him. She wanted to die.
It was another three days before he finally came up to her, only to try and make nice while she could see the open hostility in his eyes. Biting her tongue the entire time he spoke to her in his venom laced voice, she nodded her head at certain intervals.
He wanted to meet in the library. Get the ‘stupid lame-ass project’ done and her out of his life. It was as simple as saying it, she knew, but he wouldn’t. He’d rather draw it all out and make it less painful for himself. It made her want to laugh and cry at the same time. He really was a bastard.
What she never knew was that Angel was beginning to see her in a different light.
It began as pity. He pitied her for her home life. A blind person could see that she was miserable and he felt somewhat bad that he had said the things he had said. It was half the reason he had tried to make it up to her, but she wouldn’t have any of it, only going on to make him angry.
Who did she think she was?
No one special, that was who. It was enough that Angel would stare at his girlfriend and wish for blonde hair rather than her rich locks. It made him sick, while another, much smaller part, fought it’s way out.
Two weeks later, Buffy found herself walking into her English class on a bright Friday morning, discovering a few people were already there. Especially for the early hour. She had wanted to come in a get some work done. She hadn’t seen Angel at all, not since he had tried to talk to her the last time, only during English where they had to work on completely different papers and such. She had been in the library, pouring over the books Giles had found for her, her anger towards the fact that Angel wouldn’t show up constantly growing. The only time she saw him was when Cordelia walked by. It was like he was purposely trying to avoid her. And it hurt. Especially when he completely ignored her whenever she tried to talk to him.
All of her notes had been taken, at least enough to make the presentation long enough for her to pass. And Angel. She knew she wouldn’t let him fail. It was one of her flaws. Especially with him. And she hated it. It really sucked ass. But, she couldn’t help herself.
Sitting down, Buffy pulled out her stack of notes and began working the pile into a decent presentation. With or without Angel’s help, she was going to get this done. As she began writing in her loopy handwriting, she reached up unconsciously to touch her red cheek. Her father had given her the blow of a lifetime last night because she had gotten home late again. Even though he didn’t care, he certainly acted like it for his sake. And it didn’t help that he had lost his job a few days earlier, the abuse coming much more, now not just on her face but her body as well. And it hurt, even when she breathed. He would punch her. She would cry, beg him to stop, yet he didn’t. He did the same with her mother. She didn’t understand why she didn’t just get her mom and get the hell out of there.
Buffy blinked and swallowed hard. She wouldn’t think about it. Nope. No thoughts.
Concentrating on her paper, she began getting more done than she thought she would.
***
Willow and Xander walked into their English class, surprised and relieved at the same time to see their blonde friend sitting at her desk, writing quickly, forming sentences from her notes. Willow sighed in relief and rushed over to her. Buffy looked up, surprised and confused.
“Oh, thank god, Buffy. I thought something might have happened to you...” Willow squinted her eyes as she recognized the red hand print on her cheek. “Oh, my God, Buffy, what happened?”
Xander squatted next to Willow and gently touched her cheek. The bell was about to ring and students were filing in. Including the object of her anger and affection with his bitch of a girlfriend. “Oh, Buff...”
“It’s nothing, guys. I’m fine. You know, the usual...” Buffy sniffed, smiling weakly.
Xander looked over at Willow who looked at him the same time, both getting more and more worried with her sudden marks and such. They could see the way she walked that she was getting hurt in other ways as well. They both watched as a glassy layer of tears formed over her eyes. Letting her hair fall back over her cheek so no one saw the tears or the hand print on her cheek, Buffy sniffed and sat up straighter as Angel passed by. She looked down at her paper awkwardly when he looked down at her and her friends. Xander glared at him while Willow was still focused on Buffy.
Buffy smiled weakly again. “I’m fine, guys...”
“You’re so far from fine it’s scary, Buffy. Stop saying that,” Xander demanded in a stern voice, standing up and walking to the teacher. She listened attentively, nodding her head when Xander finished. He walked back. Buffy looked up at him. “What’d you say?”
“C’mon, we’re excused from class. We aren’t doing anything grade threatening today so she’s gonna let us take you out of here.”
Buffy spoke in a small voice. “ Really?” She looked to the teacher who nodded her confirmation. She shot him a small, weak smile. “Thanks, Xand.”
Willow smiled at him happily and all three of them stood and left the classroom, Angel’s eyes boring into their backs going unnoticed. As they left they heard Spike.
“What’s going on? Why do they get to leave?” Spike demanded.
Ms Murray answered back. “None of your business. Now, open your books to...”
Before she could finish, she spotted Angel’s hand shoot up into the air. Ms Murray looked startled and pointed at him.
“Yes, Angel?”
“Can I go to the bathroom?” he asked anxiously.
Ms Murray raised her eyebrows. “School just started. You had the whole morning to go. Why now?”
“It just sorta came,” he said lamely.
Ms Murray sighed and shrugged. “Fine. But make it quick.”
Angel sighed in relief and ignored Cordelia’s curious gaze as he rushed out of the room, grabbing the pass
As he made his way out, all he could think about was Buffy and if she was okay. She wouldn’t leave class for any old reason. Ever since that time in the library before their small fight and the hurt and longing look in her eyes, some really strange feelings had grown. Stuff he had never felt before. He couldn’t stop thinking about her. Couldn’t get her out of his head. He saw her everywhere he went. And the only way he thought he could escape it was when he was with Cordelia or Spike. At the Bronze or down in L.A. But it didn’t work. He knew Spike knew something was wrong because his whole demeanor had changed. He wasn’t as cruel or as outspoken as he used to be. He actually did his homework. Something was wrong. And it was of the good, in his opinion. Cordelia on the other hand just thought it was a phase and continually insisted on making out in the janitor’s closet. But, every time he pulled away, he always saw Buffy and a new longing filled him.
As he rounded the corner in the direction he thought the trio had gone, he spotted the group walking towards the exit, probably going to hang out outside until the next period in the courtyard. Turning his hurried walking into a jog, Angel easily caught up with them.
“Buffy!” he called, wincing when he realized how loud his voice really was. All three of them turned around, Buffy with pain in her eyes, a large mark on her cheek and she was holding her side. She looked pathetic. Xander was shooting daggers at him with his eyes and Willow looked confused. Buffy’s expression turned to confusion as well.
“Angel...?”
“Are you okay? I saw you leaving and got worried,” Angel replied to her weak voice, ignoring Xander’s murderous look. He got closer to them and towered over the small blonde, who was wearing baggy jeans and a large sweatshirt, unzipped where he could see her frame clothed in a small, torn tank. Her hand was covering her the area below her ribs.
Before Buffy could answer, though, Xander cut in. “Why should you care? You’ve been ignoring Buffy for the last two weeks and making her do all the work for the damn project that will tell us whether we fail or not. The least you can do is leave her alone now!”
Buffy looked up at him, warning in her eyes. Xander knew very well of her feelings for Angel and no matter how much she thought she did, she didn’t want to see him hurt. “Xander.”
“What? Buffy, all he’s done is—”
“Xander! Shut up! I know. I was there!” she said loudly, her eyebrows raised and her eyes confused and wondering. Turning back to Angel, she put a cold note in her voice forcefully.
“What do you want, Angel?” She thought she saw him wince and wondered at his change in person. He seemed... softer, if that was possible.
Angel looked at her, the idea suddenly forming. “I was actually wondering if we could meet in the library this afternoon. I have been working on the computer and was wondering if we could compare notes. You know, seeing as how we’re in this thing together...”
A small, genuine smile lit her face, but it disappeared before he could register it. “That’s fine. Right after school? You won’t make me wait for you again?”
Angel nodded. “I promise. I swear I’ll be there. Maybe, if we work hard enough, we’ll get everything done.” Although that was the last thing he wanted, he realized. He just... needed to be with her.
Buffy nodded, hating the way he said they could get it done quickly. “Alright, but you better be there.”
“I promise.”
Buffy sighed and turned around, fighting to keep the smile off her face. Maybe he had a change in heart. Or maybe he was pitying her. Buffy frowned at that thought and walked off with her friends.
Angel turned and grinned, returning to class.
***
Buffy walked into the library, the same weariness she had been feeling for the last week coming to a head. It was finally Friday and she had managed to get her friends to go so she could work alone with Angel, his sudden change in heart interesting. They had reluctantly agreed and Willow had invited her over to her house for the night. Buffy was glad. She did not want to face her parents right now. Especially after what her father had done to her. Buffy sighed and looked up. And almost jumped back a few feet. Angel was sitting at the table, books surrounding him and papers he had obviously printed from a computer. He wrote down a few things and turned the page. Buffy stared at him, wondering what was going on. This wasn’t the Angel everyone knew and loved.
“Hey,” Buffy said quietly, but loud enough for him to catch it. Angel looked up and a smile lit up his face. He motioned for her to come closer. She did, never taking her eyes off of his smile. It looked real. And beautiful. She loved seeing it.
“Hey. I was beginning to worry when you didn’t come for a while, but, hey, here you are.”
Buffy smiled a little and sat down in a seat next to him, once more surprised to not see him scoot away and completely ignore her. He actually reached over to a spot that was next to her and grabbed a book and some papers. It was all she could do to not inhale and smell the cologne he wore.
“Well, as I told you before, I have been doing stuff on the Internet, looking up things.” He placed a few of the papers in front of her as she sat her backpack down and she sifted through them silently. He watched her.
“Angel, this is great. Thank you. It will really help,” she said, looking up at him, completely forgetting about all her problems when he leaned closer to her and pointed at something on the paper.
“I’ve got everything I could find on her. Her official website, others... It’s all here.”
Buffy smiled brightly. “This really is going to help. Thanks.”
“No problem. Also, I’ve already got more notes. I sorta assumed you had started the presentation when I saw you already in class this morning, so, I was hoping you would let me add a few things. Is that okay?”
Buffy nodded absently. He was acting completely different than he had been before. “Yeah. Th-that’d be fine.”
“Great, here’s what I got...” He handed her his notebook and watched her start reading. He was debating whether he should talk to her about the last few weeks and the way he had been acting. He then noticed the white scar on her forehead where the gash Jennifer had given her used to be. Instead of feeling glee from her getting hurt, he felt the urge to find Jennifer and hurt her a whole lot worse than she had Buffy. Opening his mouth, his heart made the decision.
“Listen, Buffy,” he started. She looked up at him, her eyes a little bit brighter than before. She stared at him expectantly.
“Yeah?”
“I’m really sorry about the way I’ve been acting around you lately. Ignoring you was really mean and I’m sorry. I’m also sorry about not helping you out with this. And I’m sorry for what I said a couple of weeks ago. That wasn’t right.”
Buffy stared at him, her mouth agape a bit. What was he saying? Getting her thoughts back together, she spoke. “No, no, it’s fine. No big.” She grinned to reassure him, not able to find the energy to be angry with him when it was so much easier to forgive and forget when it came to the man she found herself adoring from afar.
“Are you sure? Because I really feel awful.”
“Seriously, it’s not a big deal. Stop worrying... really.”
Angel smiled. “Alright. Thank you.”
Buffy nodded and looked back down at his notebook. “Well, let’s get to work, then.”
Without realizing it, they found themselves staring at each other throughout their study period.
Angel could only stare at her lips, which he found he wanted to kiss. He wanted to see if she was as good a kisser as he thought, which he was sure she was. Much better than Cordy.
Buffy thought the same way, without the Cordelia part, thankfully.
***
Angel looked up from the book he had been reading, catching the sight of Buffy asleep on top of the book she had been scanning. There was a notebook next to her, fully filled with her loopy handwriting of notes that told of Emily Dickinson’s life. Angel smiled. She looked so small and frail.
Buffy was laying on her left arm, her chin resting on the open book. Her right arm was draped on the table carelessly, a few small bruises seeable on her slightly pale skin where she had taken off her sweatshirt. They were faded, but noticeable. Her hair was pulled back from when she had done it earlier, quite a few strands splayed across her face. That was when Angel once again noticed the large red mark where someone had obviously hit her. It was agitated skin that kept it from fading, like she had been hit there in the exact same spot many times. Angel frowned, wondering how bad the treatment she was getting at home was. It had been obvious that she was extremely exhausted, judging by the dark circles under her eyes. She hadn’t been sleeping, at all, was what it looked like.
Deep concern filled Angel as he stared at the girl before him. A soft snore escaped her soft lips and Angel found himself unable to tear his eyes away from her. How he could not have noticed her before was beyond him. She was so beautiful. The way her blonde hair matched her glowing skin. She hid all of it well, allowing her tough exterior to come out and fight. He could tell by the way her clothes hung on her body that she was a little too skinny. Angel’s brows furrowed. His feelings toward her were growing... intimate feelings. He couldn’t deny it. Just the thought that she was going to show sent a thrill up and down his spine. And, at the same time, it was very disturbing.
He had Cordelia, who just happened to despise the small blonde. He couldn’t understand why. Buffy happened to be extremely nice under the wall she held around her. He could see in her eyes the way she hid everything she was, letting someone who she wasn’t come out. Someone who was the cause of the fights she got in, the cause of all the trouble she got in. He could also see that she guarded her heart well, guarded it from harm while the outer layer took the beating. Angel leaned forward, the book he had been reading immediately forgotten. His hand gently touched her reddened cheek, tracing the round form that was her face. Buffy whimpered in her sleep, instinctively leaning into the comfortable touch, ignoring the burn that the touch caused her, instead enjoying the softness of the caress. She sighed and her eyes fluttered softly. She opened them and looked blearily to see Angel looking at her. She smiled, happy that his hand hadn’t left her cheek.
“Hi,” she whispered, barely audible. Angel caught it though and smiled.
“Hi,” he replied, wanting to chuckle at her sleepy mood. She was obviously so tired.
“Mmm,” Buffy moaned, closing her eyes briefly before opening them again, not daring to move her head in fear that Angel would remove his hand. It was still softly caressing her agitated cheek and it felt incredibly good. She hadn’t been touched like that since she had been a little girl. Before her parents had changed. “What time is it?”
Angel didn’t need to look at his watch. “Eight.”
“Oh,” Buffy said, surprised. She immediately sat up, wavering a little bit from her lack of sleep. “Oh,” she said again. “I’m so sorry. I fell asleep... oh, god... how long have I been asleep?”
Angel shrugged. “About an hour.”
“Why didn’t you wake me?” she asked a little too sharply. She winced at the tone of her own voice, immediately regretting it.
Angel leaned back away from her into his own chair. “Sorry. You looked really tired. I just thought you needed some sleep.”
Buffy sighed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night. Or any, for that matter.” Buffy leaned her head forward into her hand where she rubbed her eye roughly, chasing away any remaining sleep.
“It shows.”
Buffy smirked. “Thanks.” Buffy looked down at her notes and the book she had been reading. Then it hit her. “Oh, weren’t you supposed to be out with you girlfriend right now? Like at the Bronze?” Somewhere without me.
Angel looked down at his watch. “It’s not that important. I can go later.”
Buffy grimaced. “I’m sorry.” Then she laughed roughly. “I seem to be saying that a lot tonight.”
“You don’t need to be. Why would you be sorry?”
“Well, me being here obviously kept you from something you were going to do at the Bronze. I mean, you were probably going to go meet Cordelia or something...”
Angel leaned forward and looked her in the eye. “You don’t need to worry about her. She’s not that important.”
“You mean you would rather be here with me than with your girlfriend?” Buffy asked incredulously.
Angel smiled, avoiding the question. “Seriously, don’t worry about it.” He leaned back and picked up his book. He picked up his feet and casually crossed them on the large table that sat in the middle of the library. Buffy smiled wanly before looking down at her book, picking up where she had left off earlier.
A half hour later, Buffy yawned for the hundredth time that evening, trying to ignore the urge to fall asleep again. That would have been rude, considering Angel had let her do it the first time. She was sure if she did it again he would leave and that was the last thing she wanted him to do. Buffy slowly allowed her thoughts to drift to earlier when she had awaken to Angel caressing her cheek. Buffy’s heart fluttered. It had felt good, to be caressed so gently, especially on her agitated skin. It made her wonder. What had he been doing? Thinking? Touching her like that? Buffy slowly raised her hazel eyes, locking on the figure of the man before her. He was deeply engrossed in the book, his brown orbs tracing back and forth as they caressed the words he was reading. Buffy wondered why he was staying even after she had fallen asleep. She thought he would have left. Why he hadn’t he left and gone to the Bronze? Buffy sighed softly, too softly for Angel to notice, and continued her reading, occasionally taking some notes, saving her heavy thoughts for later.
***
Buffy was fighting a never ending battle with the sleep that was trying to take her over. It would feel so good to just give in but it would be bad to spend the night at the library in the school, have Giles find her Saturday morning, not that she would when she got to her own house. Giles had left, having something important to do and had trusted Buffy to leave and lock up. Buffy looked up at the wall in front of her and spotted a clock under her heavy lids. It read nine o’clock. Buffy grunted. Dammit, I don’t want to leave. Buffy lifted her head, to see Angel leaning on his hand, his eyes almost half shut as well. Buffy chuckled. He was so cute. Buffy stood, pushing the chair she had been sitting in away from her. She made her way over to Angel, knowing she had to wake him up when he didn’t so much as flutter an eyelid at the sound of her movement.
Buffy leaned in close to him, gently shaking his arm. He moaned. Buffy smiled. “Angel... Angel, I think we need to go. It’s getting late.”
At her soft voice, Angel’s eyes shot open and he spotted Buffy hanging over him, felt her gently shaking his arm. “What...?” He lifted his head, looking down at his watch. “Oh.”
Buffy stepped away from him, moving to her area where she began to pick up her things, putting her books into a neat pile. Angel shook his head, ridding himself of the sleep that still resided in his eyes. “You going home?” he asked wearily, watching her clean everything she had used up.
Buffy shrugged. “I don’t know.” Angel frowned at that.
“What do you mean you don’t know?” he asked, looking up at her with what she thought was concern.
“I just don’t know. I’m probably going to go to Willow’s... why?” Buffy asked in confusion.
“I’m sorry, it’s just the ‘or something’ part I’m worried about, Buffy. Why won’t you go home?” Angel asked, slowly bringing himself into a standing position. He eyed her worriedly. Although he already had a good idea, he wanted to be certain and another part of him wanted to hear her say it. Admit that her family life was shit and she should get the hell out.
Buffy looked down shamefully, afraid to meet his eyes. “I... I just can’t. There are... things... that you don’t know, Angel.” Shaking her head, she attempted to glare at him. “And it’s none of your business, anyway.”
Angel ignored her anger. He fought the urge to tell her that he wanted it to be his business and that he wanted her to tell him what was going on her life. He wanted to help her. But he didn’t want her to be angrier with him than she already apparently was. “Fine,” Angel relented, standing.
Buffy almost wanted him to argue with her. “Good. I don’t know why you’re acting like you care anyway.”
“You think I’m acting?” Angel asked darkly. Buffy glared at him.
“Why the fuck wouldn’t I think that?” she demanded, staring at him defiantly. “All you’ve ever done with me is use me like I’m a piece of garbage and laugh as all your girlfriends verbally attack me! Why the fuck wouldn’t I think that?”
Her angry yell bounced off the walls of the library and echoed in Angel’s head. God, had he really been that cruel to her? “Buffy, I’m sorry for all- ”
“Bullshit!” she yelled before clamping a hand over her mouth and closing her eyes. A fine tremble could be seen in her slight frame. She looked at him once more. “Don’t even say those words to me, Angel. That would hurt me more than anything you’ve ever done.”
Angel just stared at her in shock as she pulled her teary eyes away from his face and continued packing her things into her bag. He followed suit after a couple of minutes of strained silence. He was completely speechless. He’d never felt this shitty in his entire life as he watched the little blonde before him as she visibly shook and a tear traced down her cheek. She didn’t speak to him as she picked up her things and straightened the library best she could and walked into the stalks to the back door. Before disappearing completely, she looked at him warily with shiny eyes. “You coming?”
She waited for him patiently as he finished packing and climbed the stairs to the back where the exited out the building through the emergency exit. She locked the door and pocketed the key that Giles had given her. He stared at her oddly. She grimaced at his look. “What?” she demanded.
“Why do you have a key?” he asked softly. She glared at him.
“Yet another thing that really isn’t any of your business,” she replied acridly. He swallowed thickly.
“Oh,” was his reply and Buffy felt guilty at for snapping at him. God damn this fucking man! she screamed in her mind, feeling a headache growing behind her eyes.
Buffy followed him to the student parking lot and looked at the black Beamer standing proudly in the night, looking shiny and new. It was undoubtedly his and she longed to be the one to hop in that car with him to make out. Wasn’t she supposed to be angry with him? Shaking her head, she sighed and looked at him. “I guess we’ll meet up later to finish the project.”
Angel nodded and looked at her sadly. He knew without a doubt that what he felt for this little woman was beyond anything he’d ever felt for all the girls he dated in the past combined. He wanted to take her with him and whisk her away to a secluded area and make sure she never hurt again. Staring into her eyes, he saw the raw pain and anger hiding behind the giant wall she put up. He was sure she didn’t realize that with eyes as big as hers, she was as readable as a book. At least, to him she was.
Moments passed that were filled with more awkward silence. Buffy finally looked around her and realized the long walk she had before she reached Willow’s house. Sniffling, fighting back yet more tears, she took a step away from Angel and his car. “I’m gonna go. Willow’s probably waiting for me.”
Without a second thought to whoever saw them or what people would think when they did, he followed her. “Can I drive you?”
Buffy paused and turned to look at his car. Swallowing, she almost shook her head before nodding. “Yeah, that would be nice of you.”
Sighing in relief, Angel bounded around the car to open her door as she followed. Looking at him strangely, she climbed in and hugged herself as she settled into the cold leather. As he closed the door and walked to the other side, Buffy inhaled his scent that permeated the car. Buffy’s heart began to race as he opened the door and climbed in next to her, finally realizing what was happening. Oh God, she was actually in Angel Roarke’s car.
Ohgodohgodohgodohgodohgod, she mumbled in her mind as he started the car smoothly and drove out of the parking lot. She numbly gave him directions as he drove to the redhead’s house, staring out the window, fighting the urge to stare at him. She felt as if the heated anger she’d felt earlier for him didn’t exist and their small argument hadn’t happened. Before she knew what was happening, they were parked in front of her friend’s house and she realized that she didn’t want to get out.
“Well, we’re here,” Angel said, putting the car in park. He turned to her and saw her staring out at the house.
“Yeah,” she said, feeling detached to the world. What kind of strange universe was this? Why when she was with him it was so easy to forget why she was mad at him? “Thanks for driving me home,” she said absently.
Angel frowned. “You’re not at home.”
Buffy blinked and looked around her suddenly as if she didn’t realize what she had been doing for the last ten minutes. “Oh, sorry, right. Yeah, Willow’s. Anyway,” she said as she reached for the door handle to the car, “thanks for driving me.”
Angel wasn’t thinking. He automatically reached out and grabbed her hand. She whipped her head around to tell him off on reflex before he caught her face in his hand, resting his palm against her inflamed cheek once more. Sucking in a breath, Buffy stared at his lips as he leaned forward.
“I’ve never kissed anyone before,” she blurted out and immediately turned red at her words. Angel fought down a chuckle and easily fought her attempts to turn away.
“I don’t care,” he whispered, moving closer, grasping her face between his hands. Her eyes were shining beautifully as they grew wider.
“I might be bad at it,” she whispered in return, allowing him to pull her closer. He smirked.
“I don’t think that’s possible.”
Buffy closed her eyes as his lips touched hers gently. He sighed against her mouth and moved to open his to brush his tongue along the seam of her lips. She opened her mouth automatically and moaned as his tongue slipped inside her mouth to caress hers. Buffy pushed the multitude of thoughts inside her mind away as she reluctantly kissed him back, pushing his tongue back. Oh God, it felt so right.
He pulled back as the need for oxygen became an issue. They were both panting and Angel rested his forehead against hers. He looked into her eyes. “God, you’re so beautiful.”
In an instant, her face turned from fear and tenderness to anger. Her expression became shuttered and she pulled back from Angel. He looked at her, confused. A laugh forced itself from her lips. “That’s a good one, Angel.”
“What?” he asked, his own expression becoming angry. What the hell was wrong with her? Couldn’t she take a compliment?
“‘God, you’re so beautiful’,” Buffy mocked, staring at him incredulously. “Do you really think I’m that stupid? Is this some kind of sick joke?” she demanded.
“It’s not a joke,” Angel said quietly. She laughed again.
“Yeah, right,” she spat. “You should have thought of something a bit more realistic before laying it on me. I know I’m not beautiful, Angel. It takes a lot more than that to trick me into doing whatever you sick fucks do for fun.”
Suddenly, it dawned on Angel. It hit him like a ton of bricks and his anger dispersed. Shaking his head, he frowned at her. “I’m not tricking you, Buffy.”
“Sure you’re not!” she snapped. “What are you playing at? I’m sure you’d love to go to school on Monday and tell everyone that you got Buffy where it hurts! Yeah, great, she’s never kissed anyone! Yeah, neat, she’s not the slut that everyone thinks she is! Yeah, fun, you broke her and humiliated her!”
Angel stared at her and the tears that were flowing down her cheeks as she blew up in his face. He felt his heart breaking for her. What had she gone through to make her so angry?
“Why aren’t you with Cordelia, huh? Why the fuck are you out here in the middle of the night watching me cry?” she yelled, turning away from him and reaching for the door. “Is this how you guys get your kicks?”
Angel grabbed her arm and spun her around to face him. “I’m here because I want to be here with you,” he growled in her face, stilling her actions and sobs. “I’m here because I’d rather talk to you than with that fucking ditz that I happen to be dating! God dammit, Buffy, something’s been happening to me and I don’t know what do!”
He didn’t release her and she didn’t fight him. They merely stared at each other. “What are you talking about?” Buffy asked quietly.
“I’m falling in love with you!” he said loudly. “And I don’t know how considering the fucking fact that I barely know you and we’ve barely talked for the entirety of the time I’ve ever fucking known you!”
Buffy sat in stunned silence. Angel immediately dropped her arm at his admission like it burned him to even touch her and turned away in shock. She continued to stare at him in her own shock. “Oh,” was all she could say.
Sighing in irritation, he turned back to her. “I’m sorry,” he muttered. “I didn’t mean to say that.”
Buffy frowned and more tears formed in her eyes, never having felt as exposed as she did then. “You don’t?”
“What?”
“You’re not...” Buffy stopped herself as she sucked in a breath. “I mean... you’re not in love with me?” she asked in a small voice, angry with herself for hurting over that fact so much. Of course he didn’t fucking love her. God, how could she be so naive?
Angel stared at her with a shuttered expression before he softened and leaned over to her, taking her face in his hands. “I don’t know,” he answered honestly. “But whatever I’m feeling for you... I just know that I want to be with you and protect you more than anything right now.”
Another sob escaped her throat before she could stop it and he immediately took her into the shelter of his arms. That simple act caused her to cry more and she let it all out. It was a half hour before she finally calmed and just sat with his arms wrapped around her. It felt so good, she didn’t have words for it.
“Are you okay?” he whispered into her hair. Buffy nodded and pulled away enough to look into his eyes.
“Why me?” she asked. Angel gifted her with one of his award-winning smile.
“I don’t know,” he answered. “But I do know that nothing has ever felt so... right.”
Buffy smiled. “Thank you,” she whispered before his lips found hers once more.
***
Buffy stood for a full ten minutes after Angel left just staring down the road he had driven down, unable to fully comprehend what had just happened before moving to Willow’s front door and knocking softly. It was answered almost immediately by a frantic looking Willow who gave her friend the once over before pulling her into the house.
“Oh my, God, I thought something happened to you!” Willow said in a harsh whisper, fully aware that her parents were upstairs sleeping. Buffy blinked as if coming awake from a catatonic state.
“What?” Buffy whispered back. “No, I’m fine...”
Willow paused to study her friend and the strange way she was acting. “Okay, give. What happened?”
“What are you talking about?” Buffy asked lightly.
“You know exactly what I’m talking about!” Willow exclaimed loudly before clamping a hand over her mouth at the loud outburst. Buffy smirked and allowed Willow to pull her upstairs and into her bedroom where she closed the door tightly. “Something happened. You look... I don’t know...”
Willow paused for a moment before it dawned on her. “You’ve been making out with someone, haven’t you?”
Buffy took a moment to look at her friend in shock that she had caught on so quickly. “What happened to my innocent friend, Willow Rosenberg, you imposter?”
Willow rolled her eyes and sat down on the bed with Buffy. “Come on! What happened?”
“You won’t believe me if I told you,” Buffy said, grinning. Willow was unable to not notice that her best friend looked happier than she ever had.
“Try me,” Willow challenged.
“It was Angel,” Buffy said softly, proceeding on with her story as Willow continued looking at her in shocked silence.
“Wow,” Willow mumbled afterwards, staring at Buffy with wide eyes. “Wow.”
“Yeah,” Buffy replied, “tell me about it.”
Buffy felt the sliver of excitement race through her body as she stepped into the backseat of Willow's mother's car. It was a rare occurrence when Sheila Rosenberg would drive her teenaged daughter to school and as Buffy settled in her seat, buckling her seatbelt, she could see Willow's tense shoulders.
No one spoke as Willow's mother drove from the driveway and towards the school. Buffy couldn't stop thinking about Friday. What was going to happen today? Would he come up to her? Would he kiss her? Would he... God, Buffy couldn't help the grin that came over her lips at the thought of Angel Roarke - Angel Roarke - actually having feelings for her. It was enough to make her jump with joy!
She had spent the weekend with Willow and her family. She didn't bother telling her parents. She knew they wouldn't care and if they did, then damn them to hell because they certainly had a weird way of showing it. After telling Willow about Angel, they had stayed up all night, talking - mostly Buffy - about what would happen. She couldn't contain her excitement and it was contagious as Willow laughed with her, happy that Buffy had found something in her life to enjoy.
Swallowing as the school came into view, she straightened in her seat, her eyes scanning the crowd for the man she was quickly beginning to think of as hers. When she didn't see him, she didn't think of the oddity as Mrs. Rosenberg pulled her car up to the curb in front of the school. Buffy smiled her thanks as Willow told her she would be home after school. Buffy felt sorry when she heard her best friend's mother's distracted tone as she thought about something more important than her own daughter.
Then she realized that she was glad that Willow actually had parents who were more caring than her's were. As the two girls exited the vehicle and the car moved away towards the busy streets, Buffy looked down at her outfit. She was wearing tight black pants and a white t-shirt with boots. She was borrowing them from the redhead and they had laughed when Willow noted that they were the only pieces of clothing in her closet without bright colors and cartoons.
“Do I look okay?” Buffy asked her friend anxiously, running her hand down her side. Willow looked over at her, beaming.
“You look great, Buffy. I'm sure he'll go crazy!” Willow said excitedly, both of them walking towards the stone bench where Xander waited, his long body sprawled over the top as he dozed. “I still can't believe it. Angel.”
“I know. I can't wait to see... where is he?” Buffy asked as her gaze ran over the students once more, still unable to find the object of her now growing affections. “Do you see him?”
Willow followed in suit as she looked around the other groups of students, not able to find the popular boy. She shook her head, forcing a confident look on her face as she turned back to the blonde. “I'm sure he's inside. Nothing to worry about.”
Buffy grinned and Willow looked away, hiding her worry. What if he had been joking with Buffy? What if he had been playing with her and any minute he was going to laugh at her? Willow didn't know what she would do if that happened to her and she knew that Buffy wouldn't be able to take it. Her eyes darted over the grass as she tried to locate him once more. He was really nowhere to be found.
The fact that several students' eyes were on her as she walked towards Xander didn't escape her attention and she stood tall, happy that they were realizing that she wasn't all the trash they thought she was. Especially if Angel Roarke wanted her. The silly grin that she couldn't get rid of once more danced across her face.
Xander saw their approach out of the corner of his eye and sat up, taking his attention away from the pair of girls walking towards the school entrance, dressed in too-short skirts. Not that he minded. As he sat up and took his in his friends' appearances, his eyes nearly bulged from their sockets.
“B-Buffy,” Xander said as she sat down next to him. She looked gorgeous. Radiant. More beautiful than she ever had. She was wearing a pair of excellently tight pants with an equally tight white t-shirt and some nice heeled boots. Her hair was pulled up in a freaky French twist thing he had never seen and she had some minimal makeup, that of which he had never seen grace her face. He stared at her with his mouth gaping open. She giggled.
“Xander,” she said in a light tone, feeling happier than she had in years. Angel Roarke wanted her... everything was right with the world, especially when she was getting this kind of reaction. “Xander? Hello...”
“Yeah... I mean... Yeah, I'm alive.” Xander shook his head. “Buffy... you look... awesome.”
Buffy giggled again, blushing lightly. “Thanks. Say that to Willow, though. This was all her doing.”
Xander turned his head to Willow and she smiled brightly, glad that his attention was on her. He grinned at her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “You're great!”
Buffy laughed out loud and her friends marveled at the twinkle in her voice. It was something they hadn't ever heard before and they both looked at her in awe. She grinned back.
Then the bell rang.
Buffy once again looked around the visible school grounds. Her smile lost some luster as she realized that he was still nowhere she could see. Swallowing down her worry and ignoring the nervous and suspicious laced feelings in her stomach, she grabbed Willow's hand and walked towards the school entrance.
Willow smacked Xander's arm as he openly stared at Buffy's butt and he whipped his head around towards her, his eyes a mock of innocence. She rolled her eyes as they followed the blonde.
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Buffy closed the door to her locker softly, her backpack laying at her feet. Twisting the small dial to erase her code, she turned around as she bent down to pick up her slightly torn bag. It did nothing for her appearance but she had been unwilling to wear the round, white backpack Willow had offered. The one with the little bunny and the large rainbow in the background. She still had to protect what little toughness was left to her appearance.
It had been three hours since school had started and Buffy had yet to see Angel. He was nowhere to be found and she was beginning to think that he hadn't shown. Maybe he was sick. Or maybe he had blown her off... Buffy shook her head. No way. He had been so... sincere that night. He couldn't have. Anyway, she had English next, meaning she would see him whether or not he wanted to see her.
Willow came up beside her, grinning. “Hey!”
Buffy smiled back, her happiness from the beginning of the day having dimmed as time went by. As she continued to not see Angel. “Hey. Off to English we go?”
“Yep,” Willow nodded. Her eyes looked over Buffy's shoulder and her eyes grew wide. “Buffy!” she whispered excitedly, pointing slightly over her shoulder. Buffy felt her heart flutter and her stomach do a flip-flop as she realized who was coming. Angel. “Look!”
Buffy turned around, her bag dropping to the floor as her eyes settled on the most gorgeous man she could ever hope to see. There he was, walking down the hallway, dressed in a pair of jeans and a black button up shirt. He looked amazing and she saw his best friend, Spike, walking next to him, his usual sneer upon his face as he carried a book. An English book. They were on their way to class.
As they got closer to where she stood, she grinned, a bright beaming smile that wasn't forced at all. Willow caught a glimpse of her face and stared at her, unable to not notice how her face completely opened and she seemed to glow. It was... weird, to say the least.
Buffy clasped her hands behind her back as she stepped forward to greet Angel. She opened her mouth to say hi. She almost spoke. Until he breezed past her, his eyes never straying towards her general direction. Buffy felt the small breeze caress her face as she froze. Her smile immediately melted from her face as she turned around to watch his retreating back. And his girlfriend come up and wrap her arms around his waist.
Buffy felt like dying.
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Willow felt like kicking him, preferably in the shin or maybe even in another, more painful, area. She watched as her best friend wilted before her eyes. Gone was the radiant girl from this morning and replaced with an even more empty shell of the lost girl she had been before her transformation.
Buffy began breathing heavily as she looked down to the floor, her eyes wide and disbelieving as the situation became evident to her. He didn't even bother looking at her. She was... nothing to him. Nothing.
Buffy brought her arms up around her middle, realizing how horrible she must really look. Looking down at her outfit, she looked back up to see them farther down the hall, entering their classroom. She couldn't help but notice what Cordelia was wearing. And how beautiful she was compared to Buffy's simple outfit.
She felt like throwing up.
Buffy's face crinkled as a tear escaped her eye. How could she be so stupid? So fucking stupid? Turning around, she ran down the hallway, ignoring Willow's call.
Willow watched her retreating form. Watched her friend have a complete breakdown in the middle of the hall as students stared at her. Willow felt righteous anger fill her as she bent down to grab her friend's bag before looking back at the classroom. She watched as the others filtered into their own rooms, watched as the hall slowly emptied.
Class could wait.
Willow ran after her blonde friend.
It took her five minutes to find her, only to see that she had ended up in the boiler room. Remembering that Buffy had used to come down here to smoke when she was younger and that she had confessed that she felt safer in that one room than anywhere else didn't escape Willow as she came down the steps slowly, looking around, calling her name softly.
A small sniffle from the corner was her reply.
Willow stared down at Buffy as she found her, fierce pity and sadness filling her suddenly. She sat down next to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. It only made Buffy cry harder.
“God, Willow, how could I be so stupid?” Buffy choked, staring at the wall before her as she the mental image of Angel stopping and hugging her came to mind. More tears slipped from her eyes. “Why did I let him do that? Why didn't I slap him when he kissed him? When he said he was falling in love with me?”
Willow shook her head, stroking Buffy's shoulder before squeezing it lightly as she spoke. “It's not your fault, Buffy. He's just not a good person.”
“No, I'm just the biggest fucking moron ever!” Buffy said loudly and wiped her eyes. “Why did I let him do this? Why me? Why couldn't he have chosen someone who wasn't me?”
“Buffy...”
“No!” Buffy shouted suddenly through her sobs. Willow jumped slightly. “It's my fault! I liked him. God, I was going to tell him I love him today! I'm so...” Buffy choked on her words. “...so... stupid...”
Willow didn't know what to say. She didn't have anything that would help her. She'd never experienced this before. It was new for both of them. Willow frowned as she leaned her head against Buffy's as her blonde friend continued to sob against her.
Angel didn't know what to think.
He felt horrible guilt rear up within him as he thought about the look on Buffy's face when he passed her. But what was she expecting? Did she want him to go up to her and play happy? He couldn't do that. No, not that. If that's what she wanted than they most certainly could never be together.
What would everyone say when he suddenly dumped Cordelia for Buffy, the school loser? She was the epitome of badness compared to him. She was nothing compared to him in the school and when he suddenly decided to go slumming with the worst breed? He wouldn't survive, he knew that.
But he was so confused. He didn't know what to think now. I guess I could have at least smiled at her... acknowledged her... Then Angel shook his head. No. He couldn't do that. Not at school and especially not around Spike and Cordelia. They would have both looked at him like he had two heads for even thinking about her.
But then what could he do? He had been stupid when he said he had feelings for her. But then he couldn't deny that either. He couldn't deny that whenever he thought about her, he got a little shiver tracing his spine. And that confused him the most. Why did he have to like her? Couldn't he like Cordelia? Wasn't she his girlfriend?
Sighing deeply as the teacher taught the class about something concerning a guy named Dante and The Divine Comedy - which he was pretty sure they covered a couple of years ago - he leaned his head against his fist, his mind racing to find a way around the problem he had created. But was she really a problem?
And it hadn't escaped him that she was missing from class. As was Willow. He could see Xander's confusion as he tried to figure out where they had gone to. But Angel was pretty sure he knew about a certain blonde's whereabouts. Buffy was probably crying somewhere.
Angel forced a small smirk on his lips. Good. She deserved it, the stupid girl. For believing him. How naive and stupid could she possibly get? Then guilt reared it's ugly heard and Angel closed his eyes in frustration. Dammit! It felt like there were two entirely different people inside his body and they were fighting for rights to control. It only added to his heaping pile of horrible confusion.
A small piece of paper landing soundlessly on his desk captured his attention as he looked down at it, grateful for the reprieve. Looking over at Spike, he saw his bleached blonde friends staring at him expectantly. He moved to open the note.
What in the bloody hell is wrong with you? You look like someone ran over your damned puppy then ate it's brains.
Angel winced at the mental image his words brought up. Was that how Buffy felt? Shaking his head and fighting against his battling emotions, he wrote back,
Nothing. I'm just tired as shit. And thank you for the mental image. Very nice.
Looking up to see if the teacher noticed anything, he quickly tossed it back as soon as she turned her back. He could feel Cordelia's gaze hot on his back. He saw Spike smirk at his reply before shoving the note in his pocket.
That was when the very blonde most of his thoughts centered around chose to walk in. Angel bit his tongue at her appearance. It was obvious she had washed her face a couple of times to rid of the puffiness that crying caused, but Angel could see her weariness. Could see her sadness. She avoided his gaze as she sat, Willow explaining to the teacher about their absences. Something about a jammed locker. But he knew better. As did Xander as he shot Buffy a worried glance before glaring at him over his shoulder.
He avoided his look as he shifted his eyes towards the chalkboard as the teacher drew some kind of chart on the board. He couldn't deal with this. She should know that. She should know, better than anyone, how a relationship between them could completely ruin him. If she was as nice as he believed her to be, then she would understand.
Wouldn't she?
“What did he do?” Xander instantly demanded as soon as the class ended and they were in the hallway. “Did he hurt you?”
“What?” Buffy asked incredulously. “Did he hurt me? Yeah, I guess you could say that...” Then she shook her head. “No. I mean no. He didn't do anything. It was all me.”
“You?” Xander stared at her. “Why am I having such a hard time believing that?”
“Because,” Buffy snapped. “Just because you damn near well are! I'm not in the mood to talk, if that's okay with you. Now leave me alone.”
She pushed her way through the crowd, the knowledge that the very cause of her pain was standing a few paces behind the group having more to do with it than Xander's incessant pushing.
Xander stared at her retreated back as he turned to Willow, who watched sadly. “What happened?”
“He just ignored her, Xander,” Willow said helplessly as Buffy pushed through the front doors and out into the hot sunshine. It was obvious she wasn't coming back.
“That's all?”
Willow snapped her head to him. “That's all? That's not all, Xander. Stuff happened Friday that meant a lot to her and he just... blew her off!”
“What happened on Friday?” Xander asked, confused. “Why am I so suddenly out of the loop?”
“Because you are. Because it was... stuff,” Willow replied, her argument weak but unable to come up with anything else as she walked towards the cafeteria. “She just needs some alone time...”
“Alone time?” Xander asked, his voice unconsciously growing louder. Willow shushed him angrily. He talked to her in a lower tone, “Alone time? The way she was acting, I'm thinking she's going to be doing a little more than sitting in a corner, crying.”
“What are you saying?” Willow asked shocked. “How can you say that?”
“I'm scared for her... that's all,” Xander said defensively. “I don't know why she is so in love with that freak!”
Realized dawned on Willow's face and Xander fought the urge to step back as they talked in the now empty hallway, her growing anger palpable The others had rushed off to get some lunch, whether actually leaving or eating in the cafeteria. Willow narrowed her eyes.
“You still like her, don't you?” Willow asked accusingly, pointing her finger in his face. “How can you think about yourself when Buffy just ran off crying?”
“I'm not thinking about me,” Xander said, holding his hands up. “I'm thinking about her. And how she's so hung up on this guy!”
“I can't believe you're talking like this!” Willow said loudly. “You think that's all that's got her down?”
Xander just shrugged.
“She dressed up for him. She put on makeup for him. She borrowed clothing for him!” Willow waved her arms around in elaboration as she spoke. “Has she ever done that for anyone, Xander?”
Xander shook his head, opening his mouth to speak, but she cut him off.
“No. This guy is different to her and just because it's not you she's moping about doesn't mean you have to say she's about to do something... so stupid!”
Willow shook her head as he moved to speak once more.
Then she turned around and entered the cafeteria.
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“Is there something you would like to tell me, mate?”
Angel looked up. “What?”
Spike looked around, watching for anyone who might overhear. They were seated in the cafeteria as they waited for Cordelia to come back with Harmony from where they fixed their makeup in the bathroom. They were going to go out and get something to eat. He turned his piercing eyes back to his best friend.
“You know what I'm talking about.”
Angel forced a look of innocence on his features as he shrugged his shoulders. “Actually I don't, Spike.”
Spike looked at him, his head cocking to the side as he raised an eyebrow, his patience slowly but surely running out. “A certain anorexic-looking chick that had your attention captured so wonderfully in English?”
“Buffy? Summers?” Angel asked, pretending indifference. “I don't what you're talking about.”
“Yeah, okay, and I screwed a bunny rabbit yesterday... Come on, do you think I'm that stupid? I'm your bloody best friend, ya poof. I know you a little better than you might be thinking.”
Angel's stare instantly turned to a glare as he looked at his friend. “What would you know about it, anyway?”
Spike let loose a bark of laughter. “What would I know? That she's head over heels in love with you, all over the drooling and swimming in your eyes, knowing your soul shit that chicks these days are so into.”
Angel averted his gaze, looking over Spike's shoulder. “Yeah, so?”
Spike became serious. “I was just wondering what the hell you were doing.”
“What are you talking about?”
Spike rolled his eyes. “Oh, fuck, Angel...” Spike sighed, rubbing his eyes as he finally looked back to his friend. “What I want to know is if you are just as happy-joy-joy in love with her as she is with you?”
Angel stared at his friend. “What?”
“You heard me.”
“Yeah, I heard you. But I didn't know if I did correctly.” Angel paused, and Spike knew instantly that it was true but Angel didn't notice his small realization as he forced his dismissive behavior. “I'm not fucking in love with her! Okay?”
Spike didn't respond as Angel stood from the table. “I'm not hungry. Tell Cordelia I'll talk to her later.”
Spike didn't acknowledge his friend's request as he looked out the window into the shiny courtyard. Angel Roarke was in love with Buffy Summers... and she felt the same. Spike didn't know whether he wanted to slap them both for their damned stupidity or laugh from the pure amusement. Or maybe pat his friend on the back in congrats.
Shaking his head to rid himself of his thoughts, he looked down at his hands, his black-painted fingernails. Angel couldn't do this to himself. He couldn't let that little girl who prided herself on her tough chick exterior ruin Angel's life.
Because he was sure that was what she would do.
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Buffy took her time walking home from school. She realized it was the middle of the day and that she should sitting down to lunch with her friends but she just couldn't bring herself to give a shit about the fact that she would miss her last couple of classes.
But she didn't want to go home either. She didn't want to face her father's anger that she had disappeared for an entire weekend. But she had nowhere else to go and the knowledge ate away at her insides.
Maybe he would be at work. Maybe he found a new job and he was there right now, instead of at home, waiting to beat her. Buffy ignored the heavy heat surrounding her as she finally came to a stop outside her house. It looked somewhat normal in the sunlight but she knew better. She knew that her parents were either in there, getting drunk and fucking in their bedroom, causing more pain than anything, or out working to get paid in money that would be spent on more alcohol.
Buffy shuddered as her thoughts lead her towards less pleasant areas in her memory. Buffy felt the heavy hand falling on her cheek as if it had just happened and she lifted her hand to her healed face, wincing as a tear slid down her face. Angel had done the same thing... touched her... that night... when he said he was falling in love with her...
Buffy felt like dying... or maybe just kicking his ass. The thought only brought a new onslaught of pain. She couldn't even if she wanted.
Turning, Buffy sat down heavily on the curb before her house, her eyes straying to the other yards. She noted the bright green of their yards, the vibrant life of their plants... they all looked happy while her house looked sad and run down and beaten beyond repair... just as she felt in that moment.
Maybe if her parents hadn't changed... maybe if they hadn't allowed their lives to go down the drain so easily... maybe then Angel would like her. He wouldn't breeze past her in the hallway. He would be loving and accepting of her and kiss her in front of everyone... in front of Cordelia who would huff and turn her nose upwards in her snobby way.
But she wasn't. She wasn't good enough for him. She wasn't what he obviously wanted. He wanted a girlfriend who could buy her own food. He wanted a mate who could dress just as good as him. He wanted someone who wasn't thin as a rail and hungry constantly. He didn't want her.
Another tear slid down her cheek as she winced at the rawness of her eyes. Buffy couldn't remember the last time she had cried as hard as she did when Angel didn't look at her. When he turned his own damned nose up. Angry tears mixed with bitter sadness escaped down her face as she leaned her head forward into her hands, sobbing, unable to stop the onslaught.
Why her? Why couldn't he choose someone else? Like that Amanda girl? Why not her? What kind of sick person took a girl's heart and twisted it to his own pleasure. A bastard did, Buffy realized. He's just a goddamned bastard.
Buffy's head snapped up when she heard the loud banging of a screen door and she looked over her shoulder instantly when she heard loud footsteps. Her eyes widened when she saw her father approaching, his anger heavy in the air. She didn't move, frozen, as he stood before her.
He looked horrible. He was wearing a dirty pair of dark slacks and a stained blue t-shirt. There were dark circles under his eyes and he stank of alcohol as his eyes burned with a seething rage that made Buffy wince and look away.
“Where the fuck have you been?” he demanded and Buffy didn't look up, not responding. He wouldn't dare touch her in public, would he? Buffy prayed he wouldn't. “You fucking answer me this fucking goddamn minute.”
Buffy squeezed her eyes shut. He won't hurt me out here. He won't. He won't. Buffy began the mantra in her head and refused to stop as he bent over, his hand reaching out sharply to grab her upper arm. She released a small whimper.
“Where did you get these clothes, you little bitch?” he asked in a low voice. “Did you steal them? Huh?”
Buffy's eyes snapped open when she felt his rough fingers grab her chin and force her to face him. She almost coughed as his harsh breath washed over her face.
“You had better answer me right fucking now,” Hank said in a low, threatening voice as his fingers squeezed her chin. She released a shocked breath as she whispered Willow's name. He jerked her chin roughly, causing her head to rock back and forth before settling. She shut her eyes once more. “Don't lie to me.”
“I'm not,” Buffy whispered hopelessly, her eyes filling with tears as they opened once more, squinting in the harsh light as she stared up into his eyes.
“Why are you such a fucking liar?” he asked loudly before grabbing her arms roughly and yanking her up. “You are just like your stupid slut of a mother.”
Buffy gasped out, then cried out in pain as he dug his blunt nails in her upper arms as he pulled her up with him. “No!” she cried out helplessly as he pulled her towards the house, her bag forgotten. He stopped almost immediately and whipped around, his hand coming down against her cheek painfully, forcing her head to the side as the force of the blow rocked inside her head.
“Shut the fuck up!” Hank yelled before yanking her arm harder and pulling her towards the door. Buffy stumbled after him, falling to the ground, crying out as he didn't stop, but continued dragging her to the door. Buffy felt her entire being shatter as she cried out for help, only to be ignored as the quiet neighborhood suddenly grew deathly silent as the heavy front door slammed behind her shouts.
It was several hours after Spike's little intervention and Angel was still driving around town aimlessly. How could he know what was going on inside his head? Angel remembered with perfect clarity the fear that arose in his chest when Spike confronted him and wondered how such a thick-headed guy as Spike could be so observant. Angel wondered if everyone else he had ever known knew about his little problem.
But then was it really a problem? Was it something so horrible that he couldn't stand it enough to look it in the face and tell it to go away? Angel knew the answer. He also knew that the fact that the so-called it was in actuality a person... a person whom he had strong and bewildering feelings for.
Angel sighed heavily as he turned down a street he had never really remembered ever being down before. Looking around, he realized that this was what he considered 'poor' and knew that Buffy lived here somewhere. In such a small town, it wasn't a surprise that he knew where every single damn person in the school lived. As he approached her house, he easily singled it out by it's horrible disrepair. The house was in awful shape as was the yard and the sidewalk. Everything about the place screamed, “Help me!” and Angel couldn't ignore it.
Parking his car across the street from the obvious house, he climbed out and shut the door quietly, walking around to lean against the passenger side of the BMW as he stared at the house in the growing darkness.
What was it about her that drew him? Why was it her that caught his attention? He couldn't seem to pinpoint the cause of his distress, unwilling to name her as the culprit. But he couldn't deny that the thought of her blonde hair, glowing brightly in the sun, was enough to make his heart beat a bit more rapidly.
Looking down, Angel shook his head. This was too much for a teenager to handle, he decided. He didn't need this kind of stress right now. He didn't want it. Standing tall, Angel prepared to go back around his vehicle and get into his car when he spotted a dark heap in front of the Summers house.
Furrowing his brow, Angel looked down the street before crossing and picking up the black bundle. Immediately recognizing it as Buffy's backpack, Angel frowned. What was it doing on the sidewalk in front of her house instead of inside with her?
Looking up at the house suspiciously, Angel hesitated before shrugging and turning around. Well, that was her business now. He didn't need the stress, if he remembered correctly.
Then he heard a strangled shout come from within the house and Angel instantly knew whom the voice belonged to.
“Buffy,” he whispered before running up to the door.
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He couldn't believe his eyes the minute he entered the house. Everything was dark except for a lone lamp laying in the corner of the living room, barely giving any light to the room, but enough. Enough for him to see what was happening to the girl he suddenly knew he loved more than anything in that moment.
There was a strange woman laying on the floor in the opposite corner of the lamp, a large bottle of amber liquid in her limp hand as she laid heavily against the floor, her body seemingly lifeless. But her chest rose every few seconds in a strangled breath and Angel could see the drying blood on her forehead and her mangled wrist.
His eyes instantly darted towards the heart of the room where a couch was lain on it's side and Buffy was pressed up against the bottom of it, the torn material revealing hard springs which she was pushed into. She was bleeding and had a dark bruise on her chin. Bruises littered the flawless skin he had seen earlier and one of the boots she had worn that day was missing. Her shirt was torn and her pants were darker with the blood as she shivered against the couch, sobbing silently as she breathed in roughly.
A large man stood above her, his hand gripping her ankle as he prepared to do God knows what. Angel couldn't believe what he was seeing. Was this how bad Buffy's life was? Was this how bad it always got? Angel felt like throwing up at that moment as Buffy looked up at him, her eyes utterly empty as she stared blankly at him, tears still coming down her cheeks.
“Who the hell are you?” the man demanded and Angel turned his gaze back to him. Anger filled him like nothing before and he stepped forward.
“Get away from Buffy,” he said in a low voice, his fists forming at his sides. The man laughed.
“Or what?” he asked mockingly, his voice distant and rough with years of drinking and smoking. He looked down at his battered daughter where she wrapped her arms around herself, attempting to pull her legs up as well. But he yanked her leg back down, his voice deep with rage. “Is this the boy that you've been fucking, Buffy?”
Buffy shook her head and mouthed 'no', her puffy lip causing her to wince as she tried to form the word. She looked up at Angel desperately, her eyes begging him to leave so he couldn't get hurt. As badly as he had hurt her, he didn't deserve this. He didn't deserve this kind of life. She didn't deserve him and she knew that now as she stared at him, standing in her rundown living room.
“I said get away from her,” Angel repeated and the man looked back up at him, all traces of mocking amusement gone. He now looked extremely pissed off. He stood and Buffy brought her legs up to her chest as she tried to rise after her father.
“Angel,” she said weakly, still unable to stand as she fought for leverage against the couch. Hank turned around and kicked her viciously in the ribs and she cried out sharply as she curled into a small ball, a feeble attempt to protect herself.
That was all it took for Angel.
He rushed the larger man and Hank didn't see it coming. He found himself rammed into the wall behind him, his head flying back with the impact and slamming into it. Dizziness attacked him as he blurrily watched the young man whom had come barging into his house rush to his daughter's side and gently pick her up, his actions hurried. His rage built quickly.
“Who the fuck do you think you are?” he yelled, his voice slurred as his head fought against the dizziness and alcohol in his system. “Get away from her!”
“Come on, Buffy,” Angel said in a low voice, attempting to pick her up only to have her suddenly spring free at her father's angry voice. She looked purely frightened as she looked up at the looming man and Angel grabbed her by the waist before her father could touch her, half dragging her towards the door until he had her standing where he then proceeded towards the door, his arms still firmly around Buffy's waist as he lifted her from the ground, carrying her limp form.
Barging through the front door, Angel ran towards his car, the sounds of Buffy's father banging around in the house echoing in his ears as Buffy sobbed into her hands, his arms carrying her effortlessly.
Hank bounded through the doorway, his fist in the air as he stumbled towards Angel. But Angel was already across the street. He ran around his car, opening the front door and gently as he could in his hurried pace placing Buffy in the seat next to him, lifting her over the gear shift and brake.
Hank was to the middle of the street by the time Angel had the car started. Pushing his foot into the gas pedal, he heard the tires squealing before the car took off into the night, Buffy's weeping form sprawled against the passenger door window.
Hank screamed at the top of his lungs, cursing his daughter and the young man as he stared at the disappearing taillights.
Buffy stared at the wall forlornly, her back to the room as she laid on a bed softer than anything she had ever slept on, let alone laid on. The soft comforter caressed her agitated skin and it made Buffy want to cry. She didn't belong here. She didn't belong in a room that appeared bigger than her entire house. She most certainly didn't belong in his bed.
Buffy shifted slightly and she closed her eyes as a tear escaped. It ran down past her temple to soak in the warm bed and her tousled hair. It hurt, the lonely tear. Her eyes felt swollen and they were so sore from her constant crying... She was at a loss of what to think, confusion so palpable in her chest that she could feel it bearing down on her throat as more tears threatened to spill.
What had he been doing there? How did he know where she was? Why was he there? Buffy forced her slightly muted hopes down as she knew that it was most likely coincidence. He didn't care. His actions from Friday had all been a sick ploy on his part to see her in pain. Or that's what it felt like.
Wrapping her bruised arms around her body as best she could laying down, she curled in on herself, quelling a sharp hiss as her ribs throbbed painfully beneath her limbs. He had seen it. He had seen what her father did to her. Buffy didn't wish that on him. She didn't want him to see the hell that was her life, no matter how much he hurt her. It sickened her enough that her friends knew. And now he did... he saw what she suffered at her father's hands. God, what must he be thinking?
She knew she really didn't want to know. Disgust was the likely winner apart from sympathy and pity. Which she didn't want. She didn't need. She knew the shit she had to endure. And she knew there was nothing she could do about it.
Buffy hated the fact that she actually cared about what he thought. Especially after what he had done to her. After everything that happened Friday, he ignored her and made her feel like the stupidest person in the world. He made a fool of her and she knew she should hate him, but she couldn't. He had been in her dreams for so long and when he had said that he might have... feelings for her, she had instantly jumped at the chance. She had known that she would have probably swam across the Atlantic Ocean if he asked, possible or not.
But what should she have expected? Angel Roarke was the most popular boy, Cordelia Chase was his girlfriend and he appeared richer than Bill Gates. Why had Buffy been so stupid? How could she have believed him when he said that he was falling in love with her?
More tears streaked across her face as she turned her face into the plump pillow, urging herself to stop crying. After everything he had just done, he probably didn't need to see her tears. He was probably downstairs calling a cab company, asking them to come pick up this love-sick, sadly abused little girl and have them drop her off at Willow's...
Buffy remembered vividly her father's rage as Angel had picked her up and carried her from the house. He remembered his curses and his rants as he had followed them out onto the street. She also remembered Angel's soft words after they had rounded the corner, his direction taking him towards the wealthier parts of town. He had told her to stop crying... he kept asking her if she was okay, if she should go to the hospital - upon which she instantly denied - and she had even felt his hand on her side. But she hadn't stopped crying.
By the time they reached his house, Buffy had practically cried herself to sleep and Angel gently nudged her before stepping out of the car and circling around to open her door. He moved to pick her up when she told him that she could do it herself, her voice snappish. He hadn't appeared ruffled by her attitude but had merely looked at her before stepping back and allowing her to climb out. She told him to take her to Willow's when she was finally standing on her shaky legs, only to fall forward as her knees gave out. Her entire body shook as he placed a firm grip on her ribs, where she cried out from the instant pain.
He had then proceeded to gather her in his arms, cradling her against his chest, careful not to place any pressure on her ribs, as she wrapped her arms around her body, as if in protection. After walking carefully through the dark house, careful not to bump into any furniture that might alert his parents, whom resided in their bedroom, he carefully placed her on his bed before disappearing with the pretense that he was going to make a call.
Buffy had instantly curled up against the wall, feeling completely out of place in the large room. Scooting forward until her nose was practically touching the hard divider of rooms, she had resigned herself to wait. It was foreign, being in such lavish surroundings, and even worse in the clothes she wore. She regretted ever thinking that she could change for him. It had been so damn naive of her that she wanted to be sick.
Buffy sniffled as tears began a steady stream down the side of her face. Closing her eyes, she released a strangled whimper that seemed to echo in her ears. He had seen it all. He had seen her drunk mother, laying knocked out in the corner while her father took out his fury on his only daughter. Angel had seen her life at the worst it had ever gotten. Buffy felt ashamed and sad that he had ever set eyes on her in the first place.
The worst of the fights in the Summers' house were limited to weekends and long vacations, when Buffy wouldn't be needed to enter the outside world for a long while. She kept most of the marks and bruises hidden and put herself behind what she had originally believed to be a strong wall as she lived her life to the best extent, which happened to be horrible effort on her part. Until the damned project and Angel's proclamation of love.
“Buffy.”
Buffy stiffened at her name. Was he here to take her downstairs and forever out of his life, not even offering a sorry for his behavior at school and a pity line for her life? She didn't turn around as he said her name again, but merely closed her eyes at his deep voice. He'll go away. He'll ignore me. Please, please don't talk to me...
“Buffy, look at me.”
Buffy felt her throat constrict and her eyes water at the pleading tone of his voice. Who the hell did he think he was? He wasn't going to comfort her, if that's what he was thinking. She wouldn't let him touch her. Not after what her father did and definitely not after his ignorance during school.
“Buffy...
No... no... I won't look at you... you'll just go away... please go away...
“I need to talk to you.”
“No,” Buffy finally choked out as the tears she had fought to hold back finally were released. Releasing a sob, she curled her body tighter, unable to hold back the whisper of pain as her ribs and arms were jostled, the cuts on her face rubbing more fully into the comforter. “Don't...”
“Please look at me... Buffy, I'm not going anywhere until I talk to you.”
“About what?” Buffy asked brokenly. “There's nothing to talk about.”
Angel stared incredulously at her back. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. “Nothing to talk about? Then what was that that just happened at your house, Buffy? Is that a daily routine?”
Buffy didn't answer as his angry words sunk in. Was it a daily routine? It might as well have been for as shitty as she felt in that moment...
Angel sighed deeply as he stared at her back, the clean, crisp white shirt she had worn to school now torn and stained with blood and alcohol. He hadn't been able to believe what he had seen when he got Buffy out of the house. He hadn't known that it got that bad. He stupidly assumed that she got hit once every month or so. Nothing as serious as what he had witnessed. Which was what was behind the purpose of his downstairs call...
“I'm sorry, Buffy... Please turn around... I really need to talk to you.”
“About what?” Buffy called over her shoulder, her small voice traveling through his room. “Do you want to deliver some lame pity lines then throw me out?”
Angel furrowed his brows. “I would never do that.”
Buffy snorted as she finally turned around. Angel got his first, true glimpse of her face and he winced. Her hair had been torn from it's earlier confinement, now a mussed mess around her dirty face where cuts and blood were dried. Her eyes were puffy and bloodshot from the tears she had cried as more streaked down her face, her eyes glittering in the little light his bedside lamp provided. But that wasn't the worse. It was what was behind her red eyes. The emptiness. The abandoned look in her eyes. She looked lost and scared and overall terribly saddened as she stared at him.
Buffy noticed his physical reaction to her appearance and she felt her face crumple as more tears forced their way out. No, this wasn't right. She wasn't supposed to be here. She didn't ,i>belong here. “I want to go to Willow's.”
Angel watched as she attempted to sit up. The kick she had received to her ribs was the obvious cause of pain as it had been earlier as she sat up, a sob pushing it's way past her lips. Angel was there in a second, his hand on her side and the other cupping the back of her head as he attempted to push her back. But she would have none of it. His touch only seemed to make her cry more.
“Don't,” Buffy whimpered, her hand reaching out to push his away. But he was stronger, much stronger than her at the moment and when he didn't release her, she simply fell back, closing her eyes as she blocked him out. Maybe if she was successful, he would simply disappear. But she wasn't that lucky as she still felt his hand on her side and his heavy bulk dipping the bed as he leaned towards her.
“Buffy, please. Just listen to me.”
Buffy shook her head. She didn't want to hear his pity. She didn't want to hear anything he said. She didn't need to speak as she began to sob quietly, turning her head away from him. He didn't move to stop touching her.
“You're father is in jail, Buffy.”
Buffy inhaled quickly as she looked back to him, her eyes wide. A small tear escaped her eye as she stared. His expression was somewhat shuttered but she could read the honesty. She gasped as her heart filled with a mixture of doubt, fear and relief. “What?”
“I called the police.”
“You called... What? Why? You... I can't believe... why?...” Buffy shook her head as she attempted to sit up once again but Angel pushed her back down. This time she went back down without complaint.
“I called them to tell them what happened but apparently one of your neighbors had already taken care of it. Hank Summers won't be a problem for you anymore, Buffy. I won't let it.”
“No,” Buffy whispered, his final words falling on deaf ears as she processed the information. “How could you do that? He's my father!”
Angel looked confused as he pulled away from her. “How could I do that, Buffy? How... after I saw what he was doing to you...”
“Why the fuck do you even care?” Buffy yelled suddenly, sitting up swiftly, the sharp pain ignored. “If I remember correctly, you're the one who wanted nothing to do with me!”
“Well things change!” Angel yelled back. “I was fucking stupid, okay? God, Buffy, when I saw what he was doing to you... I wanted to kill him!”
“Don't talk to me about that stupid bullshit... not again!” Buffy shifted, curling her arms around her knees as she brought them to her chest, her pain forgotten in the wake of her anger. “I can't believe you would want to pull that on me... especially after what you did.”
“What I did? If I remember correctly, I just saved you from something that could have been seriously- “
“Not that!” Buffy cried out as tears welled in her eyes. “At school... when you ignored me. After everything I had done for you... you just ignored me.”
Angel stared at her, the guilt and confusion readable on his face. “Buffy, I'm sorry for that and I want to talk to you, too, but... how can you ask me that after what just happened? Isn't that a little more serious?”
“No!” Buffy shouted. “It's not. It happens all the time, Angel!” Buffy felt her hands start to shake and she clenched them into fists. Her wet cheeks rubbed against her arms before she turned her face back to him. “You hurt me more than he ever could.”
Angel felt a wall of guilt slam down onto him and it was all he could do to not scoot forward and attempt to relieve her pain. Instead he looked down to the bed where he noticed the First Aid Kit he had brought up for her. Silence attacked them both as they sat there.
A sudden loud knock echoed in the room and Angel shot up from the bed, moving to the door quickly.
“Angel? Is everything okay in there? We heard shouting.” Buffy could hear his father's voice and she momentarily felt a strong longing to hear her father's kind voice. Something she hadn't heard in so long.
“Yeah. It's just the TV. I'll turn it down.” Angel turned to look at the small blonde on his bed only to find that she was rocking back and forth, her shoulders moving in time with her sobs. She was crying.
“Okay. Sleep well.”
“Yeah, you too,” Angel responded absently as he quietly engaged the lock on his door. Making sure it was closed tightly, he turned back around and approached her.
Neither spoke as he settled on the bed. Several minutes flew by as Buffy calmed and finally sat still in the soundless room. It was practically deafening.
“Let me clean your cuts.”
Buffy looked up at him to see that he had opened the First Aid Kit she had failed to notice earlier and had a cotton ball in his hand with a small bottle of hydrogen peroxide in the other. She stared at them for what seemed like forever until he took it upon himself to dip the cotton ball in the liquid and apply it to her face. She hissed and attempted to back away from his hand only to get a patient look and a gentle hand on her back. She stared at him before he repeated his actions. It hurt less as he moved on.
Angel couldn't help but let his eyes rest on the faded scar on her forehead. He remembered that day clearly. It was before this entire escapade had begun. Before Angel realized his odd feeling for the little girl before him.
Time passed as he continued to clean her face and Buffy closed her eyes at his easy touch. It was if nothing had happened before and he was merely a gentle man being kind to her. He had gone from touching her gently to cupping the back of her head to hold her in place and she felt herself falling asleep as she leaned back into his hand. It would so easy to close her eyes and wish it all away.
When he finally reached her lip, Buffy's eyes snapped open and attempted to pull away once more.
“Don't. I won't hurt you.”
Buffy felt a nasty retort building in her chest before it died as he placed the cotton ball against her wound. The pain was gone in a millisecond as he washed the dried blood away. She looked at him as he added the dirty cotton ball to the small pile on his night stand.
“Why are you doing this? What's in it for you?”
Angel glanced up at her. “Do I always have to have a motive?”
Buffy didn't respond for a second. “Please don't pity me, Angel. I don't want it.”
“I'm not pitying you. I just... I don't know.” He sighed.
Buffy frowned but chose not to further the conversation. As another block of uneasy silence began to descend upon them, he asked, “Can I look at your ribs?”
A week ago, Buffy would have thought of it as a sick sex joke from a stranger or a silly question from her friend. But when Angel asked her, she simply felt trepidation at the simple words. She knew that he wanted to see if they were broken - how, she didn't know considering he wasn't exactly a doctor - but when she thought about him seeing her skinny form... she just didn't want to see his reaction.
She simply didn't respond.
“I'm not going to do anything, if that's what you're thinking.” Angel let an amused smile form on his lips before it quickly died. “I just want to see if they're broken... or worse.”
When she still didn't say anything, Angel pressed her back against the bed. Buffy wrapped her arms around her middle in silent protest only to have him remove them. He pulled her shirt up as best he could without touching her intimately. Tucking it underneath her breasts smoothly, he stared at her ribs. He could see every single one of them. There was a dark, multi- colored bruise already forming on her right side and he lifted his fingers to touch it gently. Buffy's arms came up once more and Angel didn't stop her this time. There were silent tears tracking down her face.
“Buffy...”
“No,” she whispered back sadly as she shoved her shirt back down. Turning her back to him, she whispered, ”Please take me to Willow's.”
Willow opened the door and words couldn't completely describe what she saw. Buffy was standing on the doorstep, leaning reluctantly on a rumpled Angel, his arm around her waist gently as she grasped at her ribs, an unusually large silk shirt around her shoulders. Buffy had initially protested the idea until she felt the unusual chill of the night before accepting Angel's shirt. Willow noticed her face was cut and bruised as was the patches of pale flesh on her arms that the redhead could see. She looked desperately tired and defeated. Willow gasped and quickly walked forward, her arms going around Buffy's neck as Angel released her at the last second, allowing the blonde to cling to her friend, a torn sob escaping her lips.
“What happened, Buffy?... Was it your dad?” Questions ran rampant from Willow's mouth as Buffy didn't answer, merely crushing her face into the redhead's shoulder.
Angel stared at her sadly as Willow stared at him, noticing his eyes on her friend. He looked sad as well, his hands moving to his pockets awkwardly when he noticed her gaze. Willow ran her hand up and down her friend's back as she fought to comfort her.
“Buffy, come on, let's go inside. Come on.” Buffy allowed the young girl to pull her into her house as she wrapped her arms around her middle. Willow glanced at Angel and he looked down before turning around, heading towards his car. Willow looked torn for a second before she closed the door and turned back to Buffy. Maybe she was wrong about him.
“Oh, my God, Buffy,” Willow said urgently. Buffy didn't respond. Willow took Buffy's hand and proceeded to pull her towards the stairs when Xander came out of the living room, a bread roll in his hands.
“Who was at the door?” he asked around the chewed bread in his mouth before his eyes fell on Buffy. He gasped and coughed as he unconsciously attempted to breath in the food before properly swallowing it. Dropping the roll in his hand, he was by her side in a second. “What happened?”
When Buffy once again didn't respond, Willow shot Xander a worried glance before pulling Buffy towards the stairs. “Let's go upstairs and... get you cleaned up.”
As they entered the green-themed bathroom upstairs, Willow pushed Xander out the door and told him to go downstairs and tell her parents that Buffy was over and that she was going to spend the time with her. She told him to not let them know what had really happened to her. After several moments of Xander's protests and Buffy's absent voice, he finally agreed and disappeared. Willow closed the door and turned towards Buffy where she sat on the toilet.
Willow finally took the time to assess all of Buffy's wounds. She was once more cradling her ribs and her face was swollen, her lower lip protruding farther than she had ever seen it after her father's attacks. Buffy was staring at the floor, her fingers clasping Angel's silk shirt in her hands desperately, hating Willow's brief assessment of her injuries. She wondered if perhaps if would have been better to have Angel staring at her as he had been before. Both hurt the same but he had seemed to gradually become more and more used to it.
Moving forward, Willow knelt before the blonde, resting on her knees as she placed her hands on the blonde's. “Are you okay?”
Buffy felt the tears rise in her throat as she shook her head. She was far from okay. She was so far that she hadn't been able to see it for way too long.
“When did this happen?” Willow asked softly, brushing a piece of her long, auburn hair behind her ear. Buffy sniffled before responding.
“After I l-left school. He was... he was mad that I didn't come home all weekend,” Buffy whispered as she spoke through the heavy burden in her throat.
Willow was reluctant to ask her the next question no her mind and only did after she noticed Buffy's shirt. “And Angel?”
Buffy's eyes shot to Willow's before quickly descending to the floor. She bit her lip. Angel. Buffy's confusion on his place in the entire situation was still horrible and she knew that she wanted to talk to her best friend about it, she just didn't know how.
“Buffy?”
“Angel,” Buffy sighed, “... Angel was there,” she said softly, looking down at her fingers that now rested in her lap as she tore at one of her nails. Willow raised her eyebrows. “I mean, I don't know why the hell he was there but he... he took me away from my dad.”
“Angel was at your house?” Willow asked, uncertain of how to proceed with the conversation. After what Angel had done to the blonde at school earlier in the day, she wasn't sure what to say. What do you say when your best friend appears on your doorstep in the arms of her crush, battered horribly?
Buffy nodded. “Yeah. He suddenly came through the door...” Buffy swept her hand out to illustrate her words. “... and...” Buffy sniffled. “Took me.”
“That's...” Willow shrugged her shoulders as she processed the information. “... oh.”
“And,” Buffy started, her voice breaking as tears threatened to spill once more. “He saw... everything, Will. He-he saw what happens to me and my dad...” Buffy began crying as she once more leaned into Willow. “... He was there and then he comforted me... like he cared... and took me to his house...”
Willow stood on her knees before Buffy, cradling her against her shoulder as the blonde cried. Shushing her gently, Willow felt like crying herself.
“I'm so sorry, Buffy. You don't deserve this.”
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It happened quicker than any one of them could have hoped to process. Ira Rosenberg had opened the door, not checking to see who it was who was banging on the door beforehand out of habit. It was his firm belief that nothing bad could happen. That there was no bad people in Sunnydale, whatever Willow's blonde friend thought.
That was when the door had been shoved into his face, cracking his nose in its power as the large man known as Hank Summers barged in.
After that, it was a blur. He had demanded his daughter and Willow had ran downstairs to see what the commotion was about.
Five minutes later, Sheila was on the phone with the police as Hank dodged out the door once more, leaving behind Ira's bloody nose, a bruised shoulder for Willow and a throbbing headache for Sheila. Buffy came out of Willow's room and sat at the top of the stairs, crying.
The police soon arrived and Ira explained the problem rather quickly, demanding that they go out and capture the culprit. Buffy then came down and asked them what he was doing out of jail. They said he had never been in, as far as they knew.
Buffy started crying as soon as she revealed what had happened to her. She left Angel out of it.
The officers promised that they would find him and suggested to Buffy to press charges
Buffy didn't respond.
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Angel had automatically assumed that Buffy wouldn't be at school the next day so he wasn't surprised to not see Willow and a quiet Xander in English. As Angel sat down, he noticed that Xander would periodically look over his shoulder to analyze him with his dark eyes. Angel would meet his gaze squarely and they exchanged words without moving their mouths.
Angel was concerned. Xander was cautious and suspicious.
As the day wore on, Angel found himself walking past Buffy's locker as often as he could, compared to his avoidance of the day before. It was as if he was hoping she would suddenly be there and his concerns would be put to rest for the time being. But she never appeared.
Angel continued to pay no mind to Cordelia and after hours of trying to gather his attention, she eventually left in a huff, never questioning his odd behavior. Spike was a different story and as they sat at lunch, neither spoke, but the questions in the blonde's head were obvious to Angel but he couldn't bring himself to give a shit.
After school finally ended, he drove by Willow's house, scrutinizing the bright grass and open windows. It was obvious her mother was home, but there was no sign of either teenager. He didn't get much sleep that night, nor did he hear about the attack by Hank.
It took twice as long for him to drag himself out of bed where he showered quickly and rushed out of the house, not bothering to eat. His parents didn't notice his changed behavior and he knew he wouldn't have had anything to say if they had asked.
As he drove to school, his heart wishing that Buffy was there while his head rationalized that she needed time to get better, he once again drove by the Rosenberg residence. Both of the cars that were usually in the driveway were absent and he briefly wondered if he would see the girls at school before dismissing it as wishful thinking.
The fact that he suddenly cared so much when yesterday he had been seriously contemplating the idea of shooting her down after his supposed idiocy of Friday wasn't lost on him. And it confused him a great deal. Just the last weekend, he had spent a lot of time thinking about the blonde, his girlfriend, and his position in school. He knew that he held his social level in the high school very high on his priorities list and that had been the major deciding factor in his earlier decision. But after what he had witnessed at Buffy's house...
It wasn't easy to forget the instant rage and powerful protectiveness he had suddenly felt when he had entered that house, especially when he held her in his arms as he took her from her father. It also wasn't easy to instantly forget the surge of emotion as he drove away, as he carried her, as she cried on his bed. It had honestly taken everything he could muster inside of himself to not take her into his arms and comfort her pain away.
But he also knew that it wouldn't be that easy. Buffy was the most complicated person he had ever met. She took things to heart, but built a wall around herself to protect herself against her own flaw. It wasn't until he actually began exchanging words with her that he understood that. She was different and that was part of her appeal. But it was also part of why Angel would never had paid mind to her before.
Sighing deeply at his heavy thoughts, he parked his car and grabbed his backpack from the back seat before moving to enter the school. It was directly before English that he finally passed her locker once more, Cordelia no where to be seen and Spike already in the classroom.
It was when he spotted Buffy standing at her locker, Willow holding some of her books as Buffy stuffed her backpack full of binders. Xander was standing on her opposite side, looking around, his look warning people from venturing too closely. But that didn't scare Angel off as he ignored Xander's death glare.
“Buffy.”
Buffy tensed, looking over her shoulder, praying that it wasn't who she thought it was. Her prayers went unanswered as she looked into the nicest pair of brown eyes she had ever seen. And they were full of concern. She smiled slightly before turning back to her locker.
“How are you?”
His question was blunt and he wanted an honest answer. Her outward appearance looked like it was designed to be an illusion. She was wearing loose white pants and a loose, long-sleeved black shirt. They were worn and the shirt looked like it had been used for painting before. Her hair was clean and remarkably shiny as he flowed down her shoulders and her face was covered in makeup. He could barely make out her bruises and scratches, but her lip was still swollen and it looked red and puffy.
“I'm fine,” Buffy answered, her voice oddly scratchy, sounding as if she had screamed her throat raw and it had just began to heal or like she had spent two days crying, which seemed more obvious to him. He smiled gently.
“That's good. I'm glad... that you're okay.”
Xander almost rolled his eyes while Willow's eyes twinkled slightly. After Hank's sudden disappearance, she and Buffy had spent the entire day talking over the attack and Angel's roll in it. As time passed, it seemed that Buffy had been warming up to him once more and Willow had taken the moment this time around to tell her not to get her hopes to high. She had said it nicely and it had almost caused Buffy to cry and laugh at the same time.
Buffy smiled back at him. She still didn't know what to think about him. She knew that she shouldn't think about the situation too much. It would allow her hopes to rise once more. Finally zipping her borrowed bag shut and gently shutting her locker closed, she turned, taking her books from Willow. She looked up at the tall boy before her, wondering how he could do that to her. He smiled at her gently. She ducked her head.
“I never got the chance to say thank you for what you did... I mean, it was really nice...” Buffy looked down at the floor, nervousness, embarrassment and shyness shining through her eyes. “... well, one of the nicest-“
“Angel! There you are!”
The four turned to see Cordelia bound up to Angel, her face grinning, her clothes impeccable as was her makeup. Buffy looked up for a split second before looking down once more. She knew she wouldn't be able to handle it if Cordelia said something about her. Better to leave rather than fear a breakdown.
“Cordelia,” Angel replied unhappily. Allowing his eyes to rove over her skirt and tight t-shirt, he silently wondered what he had been thinking when he went out with her. She was completely unappealing now. It was if a little switch had been turned off and she was now dark and unseeable. And he had yet to break up with her. It had been Angel's silent hopes that she would not want to be with him anymore after his ignorance the other day, but it had all been for naught. Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw Buffy push Willow's shoulder in a gesture to walk towards class, Xander close behind. A desperate feeling seized him. “Buffy, don't- “
Buffy's head shot around as Cordelia spoke once more. “Anyway, I was hoping you could walk me to class.”
Their eyes met and Buffy broke the gaze before either one of them spoke. It was obvious he was still with Cordelia. Too obvious. Cordelia noticed their locked eyes.
“Angel?” she asked impatiently. “I get that you guys were talking about the project but, hello? Girlfriend here.”
Angel turned back to her. “What?”
Cordelia didn't bother answering but turned her sudden wrath towards Buffy. “God, Buffy, learn how to use makeup. I can see that bruise, hello! I mean, it looks like you were decorating a cake.”
Buffy's gaze turned cold as tears rose in her eyes, her lower lip trembling. Xander turned towards the brunette as she raised a shapely eyebrow. “Are you going to cry? Jesus...” Cordelia's eyes ran down Buffy before returning back to her face. “And can you say fashion victim?”
“Cordy,” Angel snapped as a tear slid down Buffy's cheek. “Back the fuck off.”
Cordelia inhaled sharply as she stared at her boyfriend. Shock colored her features as she narrowed her gaze. “Excuse me?”
“I don't want to go out anymore, Cordelia. We're over,” he said offhandedly before turning back to the group of friends. He smiled warmly at the wide eyed looks. “Can I walk you to class, Buffy?”
Buffy barely responded before Angel reached for her hand and forced her to walk with him. Cordelia stared at his back as he walked away before turning back to the two who still stood before her. Xander quirked a grin at her sputtering and Willow shrugged helplessly before they both turned to follow.
“Excuse me?” Cordelia yelled at the retreating backs, her hands on her hips. “Did you just break up with me?”
Buffy felt his gaze on her back throughout the entire class period and it was all she could do not to turn around and meet his eyes. It was unnerving, this sudden attention and she wanted nothing more than to divert it away from her. But there was that sliver of herself that couldn't deny the thrill his stare gave her. Her mind was hardly on the teacher's lecture until she directed her subject to the projects due in a couple of days. Her eyes snapped upwards.
“Now, considering the gracious amount of time I have given you all for the major project that will have a large persuasion on your final grades for the semester, I hope to see some excellent presentations. I don't want to go over the requirements again but I wanted to let you all know that I've mapped out the next couple of days for all the presentations. I'm going to start with volunteers and then I'll start calling people up after we run out of those. On Wednesday, we'll start halfway through and then continue on into Thursday and then - hopefully - we'll be through all of you by the end of Friday. Any questions?”
Willow's hand shot up into the air and Buffy bit her lip, looking down at the blank piece of paper before her. There were some small doodles in the corners but nothing substantial as she thought. Her and Angel's work was done. They had - or she had with Willow's help - put together a decent presentation that would surely get them the grade they both yearned for.
Biting the inside of her cheek, she looked up quickly and saw the teacher nodding to Willow as she asked her question. Her eyes darted to the bubbly redhead before she began turning her head as casually as she could manage without looking suspicious. Looking over her shoulder, Buffy caught sight of Angel dark eyes meeting hers, a half smile decorating his face as he met her gaze. Her eyes widened and he smirked as she turned around quickly.
God, what is he doing? The question circled in Buffy's mind for the last few moments of class before the loud bell rang, signaling the end of the period. Feeling a mixture of dread and anticipation fill her at what Angel's next actions would be, she stood, gathering her book into her arms as she hooked the bag's strap over her shoulder. Smiling briefly at Willow, she moved to follow her friends out of the room when she felt a large hand on her lower back. It rested softly and she felt a jolt race up her spine as goose bumps broke out over her skin.
“Can I walk you to lunch?”
Buffy turned around to face him before mutely nodding. He grinned at her quickly before pushing her forward. Buffy noted that her friends had already left the room, as had most of the students. She caught their teacher shooting them an odd glance before turning back to her computer, a group of students for her next class filing in.
Buffy felt her confusion like a third presence between the two of them and she swallowed roughly as she felt his hand never leave her back, his touch light as if afraid of hurting her. His gentleness only enhanced her feeling and the overwhelming need to speak to him about whatever the hell was going on echoed in her mind. Leaving the classroom, she allowed Angel to follow her as she followed her friends in their path towards the cafeteria. As the two before them entered, Buffy suddenly paused. Angel frowned.
“What's wrong?”
Buffy turned around, her arms coming up over her chest protectively as she hugged her book. “Lots of things... can I talk to you?”
Willow had stopped just inside the large room and she turned in time to see the two disappearing out into the courtyard. Furrowing her brow, Willow allowed the door to slam. Her worry for her friend was palpable as she followed Xander towards the lunch line, allowing herself a small giggle as Xander pointed excitedly to the Jell-O.
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“So...” Angel had instantly removed his hand from her back when Buffy had pushed through the doors to walk outside. Shoving his hands into his pockets, a million questions raced through his head as he fought to come up with something to say. But there was nothing. “Um...”
“I have your shirt,” Buffy said bluntly, her eyes never leaving the ground. “I mean, it's in my locker... I think... if you want it right now...” Buffy moved to walk back inside when Angel's hand snatched out to grab her arm. She looked back over at him.
“No. It's okay... I don't - exactly - need it right now.”
Buffy nodded before gently shrugging her arm out of his grasp. He let his hand fall to his side. Sliding her bag from her shoulder, she tossed it with her book to the ground before hugging herself. Angel did the same, allowing his fingers to tangle before him as he fought for words and she pushed herself through the tangle of confusion that was woven around her.
“Listen-“
“What is this?” Buffy asked suddenly, her eyes attached to a lone leaf on the ground, her brow furrowing. “I mean, you come up to me and you're all... different, and... well, I...” Buffy breathed in deeply. “I just want to know if you're fucking with me. If you're... messing with my head again...”
Buffy's gaze snapped to his face and Angel raised his eyebrows. “Buffy, I'm not fucking with you... or messing with your head. I don't want to do that, I just... I mean... dammit!” Angel sighed loudly, running his hand through his hair. “You have to understand where I'm coming from because I can't seem to get it. I mean, it's like, bam! Suddenly here I am, falling for this girl that I've never thought twice about and then I'm at your house and seeing the fucked up shit that you have to live with and... it's a little bit more than I thought I would have to deal with as a teenager.”
Buffy smirked at him, hiding her reaction to his words as best she could.. “Yeah... welcome to my world.” Looking down to the ground once more, she crossed her arms over her chest. “So... do you-“
“Yes,” Angel interrupted, coming up closer to her. “I mean everything I say... about us. I know I was a jackass for what I did to you on Monday, but I wasn't exactly prepared for what happened. And when I saw what your father was doing to you...” Angel took a deep breath and watched as Buffy's eyes darkened. “I knew that I didn't want to lose you.”
“Angel,” Buffy said softly, her eyes softening as her mind whirled. “I... I can't do this... if you're... joking with me or something...” Buffy licked her lips. “Well, let's just say the consequences would be dire.” Angel furrowed his brow.
“What is-“
“My dad paid a little visit to Willow's on Monday,” Buffy said, her voice full of pain. “He broke her dad's nose and bruised Willow's shoulder... he hurt them... God, but the things he said...”
“Your dad?”
“Yeah,” Buffy said, her voice full of mocking anger. “I thought you said he was in jail.”
“I... I thought he was... I mean... I called...”
“Angel... he was mad... really, really mad. Not just with me.” Buffy looked up into his eyes, hers wide and her eyes darting between his. “He's not happy with what you did.”
Angel narrowed his eyes. “Why? What did he say?”
Buffy furrowed her brow before swallowing and looking away. “Stuff. He said... stuff. But... he was mad, okay? Really, really mad and that's all you need to know.” Looking back at him, she spoke once more, “So that's why I need you to stay away from me. I'll go get your shirt and you can get out of here, okay? Away from me.”
Angel could see the stalled tears in her eyes and he felt a protective swell building in his chest. He shook his head vehemently. “Bullshit. I'm not going anywhere.”
“Are you deaf? Something bad will happen if you keep staying with me... around me...” Buffy shook her head. “You don't know what he's really capable of.”
Angel looked down at her, his eyes digging into hers. “Then why all the questions about what I'm feeling?”
“Is it a crime to feel insecure now?” Buffy demanded, stepping back from him. He stared at her. “I'm not the greatest person here, Angel, okay? So back the fuck off and get the hell out of here.”
“I'm not going anywhere, Buffy. You can't just expect me to run off right now.”
“Why the hell not? You would have a couple of days ago.”
“Yeah, well, things change... things that make a person change.” Angel stepped towards her once more. “Don't push me away, Buffy. Don't.”
“Or what? You'll spread some nasty rumors about me? You'll go fuck your skanky ho? Tell me, Angel, what will you do if I 'push you away'?” she asked mockingly.
“Why are acting like such a bitch?” Angel demanded, his voice growing louder, causing some of the lingering students to turn their heads in their direction. “Why can't you act like a normal human being, Buffy?”
“Because I'm not! I'm not normal, Angel. I don't go to the mall every Friday... I don't paint my stupid toenails pink... I don't spend endless nights sitting on the phone talking with guys... I'm not normal... The last time I was even close to being a normal human being was when my father wasn't hitting me every time I stepped on the wrong piece of carpet... every time I said no...” Tears welled in Buffy's eyes and she glared at him. “... every time I came home late or even said his name wrong...”
Angel reached his arms out to pull her against his chest but she pushed back. “Don't. I don't want your fucking pity, okay? I want you to get the hell away from me... now.”
Angel shook his head, his eyes narrowing once more. “I can't do that.”
“Yes... yes you can. It's really simple... really... watch... I'll do it for you.” Bending down to grab the things she had thrown down, she straightened and turned around, walking back towards the school. Angel followed suit, grabbing his back pack and following her in, catching up easily with his long strides. Buffy stopped immediately on the steps leading to the door that would take her inside. She whirled on him. “Go. Away.”
“No,” Angel said defiantly. “You can't just say jump and I immediately ask how high, Buffy. That's not how it works with me.”
“Well, it should be, dammit, okay?”
“What did your dad say that would make you want this to happen?”
“Whose to say that this isn't what I really want?” Buffy demanded, dropping her book and bag on the stone steps. “Why can't I just want you to go away?”
“Because you wouldn't have kissed me back if this isn't what you wanted,” Angel said in a low voice and Buffy felt all her anger and pain and icy attitude immediately deflate as more tears began to cloud her vision. She shook her head.
“No.”
“Yes,” Angel replied, stepping forward, dropping his bag to the ground again. “Please don't push me away, Buffy. Not now.”
“What about tomorrow?” Buffy asked bitterly. “Whose to say that you won't just up and leave me when Cordelia walks in with a short skirt and a see-through shirt?”
“You have my word, Buffy,” Angel said softly, his hand coming out to touch her cheek. “You have my word that that won't happen, okay?”
Buffy looked up in his eyes, her heart welling in her chest at the prospect of him by her side while her mind forced the possible scenarios of her decision through her head. She unconsciously shook her head as she thought before sinking down to the steps. A sob escaped her lips as Angel sat down next to her, awkwardly wrapping his arm around her shoulders, afraid of her reaction.
His posture relaxed as she turned into his embrace, curling her fingers in his shirt.
Kissing the top of her head softly, Angel leaned his cheek against her head, her arms wrapped around her protectively as she allowed him, burrowing her head against his shoulder.
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Cold eyes stared at the couple on the steps, a burning cigarette in his callous fingers, dried blood still etched in his skin. Bringing the small stick to his cracked lips, he narrowed his eyes as the man kissed his little girl on the top of the head. He watched as she burrowed even closer to him.
That was the little fucker who took her from him. The damn bastard whom stole his baby away. Whoever the fuck he thought he was... squeezing the cigarette in his fingers, he let it drop into his fist before clenching his fingers around it, allowing the burning tip to singe his skin.
Clenching his jaw, he watched as they finally stood. The young boy grabbed both of their bags and her book as they entered the school.
He would pay for ever thinking he could touch her.
She would pay for ever thinking she could get away.
TBC…